I think my mother has a personality disorder.

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My mother is very scary sometimes, and not in the way a normal 15 year old would complain about her mother. My mom recently tore her ACL in an accident at work, (shes a nurse practitioner), and has to stay home. She can walk in crutches, or sometimes in public we will push her in a wheelchair. I’ve always noticed something off just in my mother’s eyes, the way she’d look mentally ill when she got upset. Today I was in the master bedroom of my home since there’s a smart tv inside of it. I was watching videos and webcaming with my best friend on my tablet. My mother came in on her crutches with my sister and went in the bathroom, she was having major pain in her stomach and had trouble moving her bowels. I told my friend I had to go since I didn’t want her to hear my mom in this state, and my mom started dramatically crying out of no where. This is when I thought in my head she’s so abnormal, she was just talking normally and calmy and all of a sudden she was crying hysterically on the toilet within the time of about a minute. I then joked and said when I got sick from food on our recent vacation my sister told me I was crazy for crying, but now she had a change of heart. My mother then yelled at me from the bathroom and told me I was selfish. Obviously, that joke fell flat. Then, my mom suddenly stopped crying and yelling in an angry way at me telling me I never want to help her. She said I always look like I don’t want to help her. Every time she asks something from me, I do it, which I mentioned, but she said she still doesn’t like how I don’t look “happy” to help her. I apologized and said I have a naturally annoyed looking resting face, but she insisted I was purposely doing it and then went into the fact that I “hated” her. I don’t hate my mom by all means, I love her, but she’s always accusing me of wanting to ruin her life, she’s always paranoid I’m trying to hurt her. She kept on screaming from the bathroom as my sister and I had a side conversation about it, drowning out her crazy behavior. My sister agreed and said I don’t look happy, and I explained to her, (in a much more edgy way since my mother was making the situation worse than it had to be by yelling), and my sister began to raise her voice at me for being impatient and a little aggravated by my mother who was still yelling from the master bathroom. At this point all I heard was “ungrateful”, “I’d never”, “Horrible”, and more. My sister also got fed up with it and asked my mom to calm down nicely. When my mom refused, she yelled “I’m over it mom! Stop it!”. Then my mom replied “If you’re over it, (my sister’s name), then leave!”. My mom then got off of the toilet and walked over to me on her crutches. She yelled in my face and spat in it in the process (not purposely, but it naturally just happened). I had a mute face and wiped my face off and looked at the laptop I had on my lap while laying in bed. She slapped my laptop on my fingers and told me to shut it down. I calmly reopened it and avoided eye contact with her. She then yelled at me some more about how I never look happy to help her and I once again tried to explain (I have to admit, I did have an attitude), that my resting face always looks annoyed and I reminded her of the fact we even make fun of me since I always look annoyed. She then yelled and said to not answer back to her, so I looked away from her. Then she asked me why I always look annoyed, when I answered, she told me not to talk back and slapped me in the face and told me she’d still beat to hell out of me although she’s on crutches. Then she walked away and went back into the master bathroom to try to use the toilet again. My sister told me I was wrong, and my mother continued yelling and my sister told me I was wrong. I’m used to being told I’m wrong, but when I apologize I’m always told I don’t mean it and I’d do it again. I knew I would since every time I apologize it’s never accepted, I really don’t know what my mother wants from me at this point. She said I can’t see my friends this week and that she’s not buying me anything, not even food and my sister has to do it. I tried to ignore her some more but it was getting harder since she was striking a nerve, I hate it when she acted like I was trying to be understanding. She then walked away and went in the shower, and continued to yell at me. Then everyone left the room and that’s why I’m writing this right now.

Category: Tags: asked July 21, 2015

2 Answers

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It sounds like really your very concerned for your Mum and from what you have wrote here I believe you do have reason to be. This could be just a hard time for her at the moment and she's finding it difficult not to take it out on you and your sister(as when we are in pain often it is those who are closest and we love the most that bare the brunt of it but that's not right)
What do you think would happen if you calmly expressed your concern about her to her when she did seem calm. Stating you were worried about her and that her actions are effecting you?
Or is there a close family friend or relative that you could trust to express your concern to?
This might just be a bad time at the minute for your mother(we all go through them from time to but she shouldn't be taking it out on you. No one except a professional could diagnose a personality disorder, or any other kind of mental health issues.
Best of luck and I hope things improve soon.
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(Depending on how long this has been going on) she might be having mood swings because she's on her period