I think I’m in an unhealthy relationship

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A friend of mine told me to go on this site called Loveisrespect.org to take a test that basically tells you if you’re in a unhealthy relationship. If you score 5+ points, you are and go figure, I got 5+. I don’t really know what to do. Since I moved to a new town I never made any friends here, just him. He’s all I have, and have had for the past 2 and a half years. He threatens me with suicide knowing I lost my closest cousin and best friend to suicide just this past year. He is extremely jealous and possessive, liked to make me feel horrible about hanging out with anyone but him, including family. We always argue and I always cave in and let him be right just to get past it. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I’m crying to my mother every few days and I feel like I’m losing myself. Can someone please help me make sense of this whole thing. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Category: Tags: asked December 9, 2013

9 Answers

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That is definitely an unhealthy relationship. Your boyfriend should not be threatening you with suicide. That is very mean, selfish, disrespectful and manipulative. None of the things you mentioned that he does is okay for someone in a relationship to do.

I would suggest you get out of it as soon as possible. He is taking advantage of you and controlling you. You don't deserve to be treated like that. There are better guys out there and you deserve better.
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Yup, seems like you are in a unhealthy relationship. Has he been always this way? If yes, I think you lived this too much. When you love someone, you have to care and not threaten like that. You can live only 'cause he says that he'll kills himself or something like that. This isn't you can't control or live sad just 'cause of this. Unfortunately. =/And try to meet new people, don't make yourself a lonely person. :)Hope you find out what to do.
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I'd run the hell away from him as fast and as soon as I can. If he threatens you with suicide again wish him luck as you are leaving him behind and instead of goodbye suggest to him a good therapist.
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Does he really seem like he'd commit suicide? He doesn't sound like that kind of guy. But this is something you need to tell people in real life, not us.
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I agree with most of the other people here. I`d also suggest that you give him some tools or suggestions so he can help himself, but his happiness isn`t your responsibility, especially if he is restricting you
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If you're not happy in this relationship then it is not healthy. You're supposed to support eachother in a relationship and this doesn't seem the case.. his threats are also probably empty threats - I'd leave sooner rather than later to avoid being hurt further or it having long term effects on you. Stay safe x
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If you're unhappy in your relationship, you have every right to get away from him as soon as you can. He's being manipulative and using you as an emotional punching bag. I know guys like this, they think they deserve so much from you and end up making you feel awful about so many aspects of your life.
If you don't split from him now, you risk things getting worse and you being miserable.
As far as the threats, if you believe he's mentally unstable, I advice you to either contact the police or straight up tell him that is not OK. Make sure he knows where he stands.
Just remember that there are so many nice guys out there, and one day you'll find one that will look at you like they've been waiting their entire life to meet you.
Namaste, friend. Good luck
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remember no matter how many people say your in a unhealthy relationship and say for you to leave. it is harder then it sounds. What you need to do is try to get your boyfriend to a therapist before you leave him. Leaving him will be very hard. You cant just leave one day and be like "fuck you! im out." what your boyfriend really needs is help with the problems he is going through. But if he refuses to get help or gets help but does not change. I am afraid the worst case scenerio is at bay. But maybe this quote can put some ease in your situation. " Leaving is extremly hard but once you do it you never feel better."
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as someone who's been in an unhealthy relationship before I know how hard it is to take the first step and GTFO, you think you can change him. and eventually you start believing everything is your fault. we can all sit here and tell you, you need to leave him but until your ready to you wont. you can try counseling if he's into that. but the way he sounds it sounds to me like he wont be. once you have had enough you'll do something about it. there will come a breaking point. but yes hun this does sound like an unhealthy relationship. and you DO disserve better.