I think i’m going crazy?


I’m 18 and for the past year or so, I’ve noticed really drastic changes in my personality…I’m either overly happy, ‘normal’, or extremely depressed. I think I’ve always been this way but it’s gotten so much worse these past few months. I’ve gone from loud and vulgar to happy and giggly in a matter of minutes, it doesn’t make any sense. I’ve been dating this guy for about two months. He’s great. He’s really funny, attractive, romantic, etc. And we have a lot in common which is a plus. When I met him, I was ‘normal’. I was just a normal college freshman who had ambitious and hopeful dreams of going to med school. Now i’m a fucking wreck and I have no idea why. I know for sure med school isn’t going to happen though, that’s a joke. Anyway, we go on a date every weekend. A month into dating, we have sex and he keeps asking if i’m okay. Around the 4th time or so, I say i’m okay and that it doesn’t hurt anymore which was good news. He replies with, “Great! So we’ve made progress for you haha” and my delusional side kicks in and I say, “Yeah! If you wanted to do it again this weekend, I would probably be able to ;) ” Twenty minutes later, no reply, and I figured he’d gone to bed. I reread my text and my normal side kicks in and I flip out at my past-self for sounding like such a creepy slut so I try to save myself with, “Whoa, just reread my text. Did not mean for it to come off that way…I definitely don’t want that kind of relationship, haha…” I’m still freaking out over this as it just happened a few hours ago. I don’t know if i’m overreacting but I always seem to overreact lately. We have math class together so we see each other throughout the week as well. He’s also noticed my odd behavioral changes. Some days he’ll ask me why i’m so angry and then i’ll realize that I’ve been glaring at nothing for the past 10 minutes. Some days he’ll ask me why i’m so sad and i’ll realize that I’ve been non-talkative and irritable. We always seem sort of distant on these days. When we go on dates though, I am always either overly happy or normal and we get along great. Is this weird? My brother also keeps asking me what’s going on with me. I always reply with, “When you find out, let me in on it” because I have no fucking clue either hahah. Bipolar disorder maybe? I just feel like i’m going crazy. Please help. Thank you in advance

Category: Tags: asked November 2, 2014

1 Answer

Hi there. From personal experience, I've learnt that both several types of personality disorders as well as mood disorders are diagnosed during late adolescence/early adulthood. If you feel like you've changed significantly, and it sounds like you have, then it might be best to voice your concerns to either a parent, or a professional, or both. The mood swings you've described are very similar to what I began experience when I was seventeen, and I have an idea of how much they suck. Now that you're in college, it's especially important that you find help if you believe you need it, because school is starting to count quite a bit more. I hope you get things figured out, and your boyfriend is able to understand and listen to your concerns; if not, you deserve to be able to find someone who will. Best of luck.