I think I’m dying but my parents don’t believe me


I’m going to be blunt.
I have a series of mental disorders that were passed down from my mother, but I don’t know what they are. I know I have serious depression and I get seriously suicidal most of the time.
I don’t understand why I hurt myself exactly, but it happens and it scares me. Last year in December I drank bleach. Since then, each time I have my period the first day is complete and total agony. I can’t string a coherent sentence together, I’m paralysed in pain and I can’t even sob or cry in pain, it just hurts so much. The doctors and the adults I talk to are all saying that it’s normal as I’m fifteen so it must just be teenage hormones. But I know it’s not. There’s no way I should be in those levels of pain.
The pain from my abdomen puts pressure on parts of my chest and I struggle to breathe. I can’t digest food and water makes me vomit.
I can’t even walk or move and on Tuesday it took me 3 hours to get dressed.

But also, I’ve made Chlorine. I made a poisonous gas. And I nearly suffocated last night because I couldn’t breathe. Every breath I took I just violently coughed and then I choked on the cough and was nearly sick every time. I can’t breathe without pain. I’ve begged my parents to take me to a hospital but because they don’t care they’ve said no and that it can’t be that bad.
I don’t know what’s wrong with my mental state and I can’t breathe and move. I want to go to hospital but I can’t. What am I supposed to do?

Category: asked July 23, 2015

5 Answers

About your period... It is true, teens can get horrendous symptoms. I used to get them so bad that I would have to leave school because the pain was that bad. Midol works wonders for the pain. I think birth control might work better because it balances out the hormones and can give lighter periods.
As far as your mental state goes, I think you should get to a doctor to get evaluated. If your parents won't, see the school counselor and they might know what to do. I recommend that next time you try calling the suicide hotline and they'll talk to you. I'm really worried about you, given what you've told us.
hey.. i know this wont help you, but if u love to , im here to listen to you and stay by your side i kinda understand what you're going through, i always have those thoughts of killing my self, and they get more painful and scary at night when i get stuck in the dark trying to fight my own self... i used to cut and hurt my self and someday i was crying so hard , my father asked me what's wrong and i showed him my arm.. he was shocked and kind of sad but two days later he forgot about it and come back to treat me coldly and in a mean way i know he loves me but he don't care and he didn't try to take me to a doctor or even look for a web site and try to read a little about what i'm going through... He is one of the persons who says that this is a bad period and i'll get through it , but i've been like this since my childhood and i want to be happy so freaking bad, i want to laugh from the bottom of my heart and feel safe in someone's arms.. i want to trust people and become positive but my demons are stronger than me and honestly im so close to give up because im so tired of trying non stop but nothing change
I'm sorry you are going through all of this, but its good that you are talking about it and looking for help. You're feelings (physical or emotional) are very important. And you deserve to be listened to and evaluated medically. It's very brave to say that you think you need help in these areas. And I hope that you get some good advice that is able to help.
As far as the issues you have on your menstrual cycle, it is a common problem, but it is not "normal" as for as something that everyone goes through and just has to deal with. Extremely painful menstrual cycles are often a systom of another medical problem and sometimes are a medical issue in itself. They should be treated by a medical professional. Your primary care doctor is always a good place to start, however a gynecologist (GYN) specializes in this area. Even though a GYN is a specialty doctor you can go to one at any time. Seeing a GYN once a year, is often a part of woman's health care even for someone that does not have any problems or concerns.
Also I want to point out that even though it's likely there is a underlying reason/issue , that does not mean that something is majorly wrong. There are different issues that can cause major pain and other symptoms that can easily be treated/corrected once they are properly diagnosed. But you should definitely see a doctor.
I'm also sorry to hear about the other issues that you are going through. Again you are not alone. It's very though that you are in a situation that you feel you can not turn to your parents for help. I first want to point out that you can go that you can go seek medical help from a doctor without your parents permission (even if you are covered under their insurance). A psychologist or psychiatrist are doctors that specialize in therapy and/or mental health. All you need to do is schedule an appointment and have your insurance cards with you when you go. A primary care doctor is again a good starting resource as well. They can evaluate/treat many issues and when they are unable to help with specific things they can at least refer you to specialist (GYN or mental health).
If for some reason these options are not feasible, another good place to start is a school nurse/counselor, or another trusted adult. Community health and mental health resource centers (if you don't have insurance) are also available in many areas.
Again, it's sad that you can't go to your parents and I am not trying to cause conflict, but it is always okay to try and seek medical help/support for yourself, even if that means defying others. Taking care of yourself is very important. Like I said earlier, you can go see a doctor without your parents permission, however it is not something that you can necessarily hide from them. If you are covered by insurance under them, they may receive a bill or yearly statement.
Many people (of all ages) have complicated relationships with their parents. While is very sad and frustrating (among many other feelings) sometimes there is more than meets the eye on both sides. Sometimes a parent may be in denial about things, not know how to help, be oveerwhelmed or just be scared themselves.
I encourage you to seek out medical help and treatment for the issues you've brought up. You do know yourself well enough to know that something may not be right, and it's good that you want/are willing to get some sort of help. And remember it's okay that you "don't know what's wrong." The important thing is that you can identify that you're not feeling "good" or "right" and that you can describe how your feeling to a doctor. Part of their job is to sort through all the information someone gives them.
Take this information to a hospital and fess up to your substance abuse, or else you could be right about dying. Don't hesitate another day.Take yourself to a hospital by whatever means and tell them everything.
You need to get an appointment with a gyno ASAP. If you are taking drugs or other substances that are harming you, make sure to let the doctors know that, you also need to see a psychologist and therapist. It shouldn't take you three hours to get dressed, and you shouldn't be drinking bleach. Don't let your parents downplay your symptoms. Demand they take you to another doctor or contact someone else who will take you, or take a bus there yourself.