I think I terrible at conversations


I’ve always had this feeling, and it seems apparent that I’m either incredibly boring or super awkward at holding conversations. The amount of eye shifting, long pauses, and abrupt endings each conversation has is a ton. I have this with literally EVERYONE besides my mom and sister.
I even was told when I was around 18 by my ex’s boyfriend’s brother that I tell really boring stories.
I do know a lot of people don’t catch my humor quite frequently (even my sister sometimes can’t tell when I’m joking and we’re super in sync) I’ve always assumed this might be part of it. I just don’t know how to respond or start conversations 90 % of the time!!!
I really don’t know what to do, I feel like I can’t form friendships even with people that I have everything in common with!

Category: Tags: asked September 23, 2015

2 Answers

You aren't born into this world to please anyone. You are you, and you are awesome. Also, maybe because you're thinking about it alot right now, people can "see" how you're feelings. We can feel positive and negative vibes. So try to relax, and be yourself. and if someone doesn't like it, move on. This is the best advice I can get, cause changing just to please people is the worst :)
Ok, I'll be the bad guy here. Yes, you can change if you want to. Not everyone is inherently awesome (as is made obvious by the people we don't like), and claiming that everyone is perfect as they are is childish and naïve. We can all be better, no one is perfect, and there's no reason not to try to change if you want to. Even more so if you're not changing who you are, just changing how you relate to people. Just changing how you present yourself isn't really changing much about who you are. Just make sure you're doing it for yourself, and not for everyone else.If you want my advice on how to improve your ability to talk to people, it's not that complicated. First, don't talk about yourself unless someone asks. Ever. If they ask, they're interested. If not, they don't want to hear it. Second, everyone loves to talk about themselves. Be interested in other people, ask questions about them, and crack jokes about what they have to say, and they'll be much more entertained. Third, try to talk about concepts. Books, movies, ideas. Things you have in common, rather than things about yourself or about the person you're talking to. People love to discuss, and if not everyone can talk about themselves indefinitely. They run out of things to say. Fourth, read How to Win Friends and Influence People. It's a classic, and everyone should read it. Simple, easy to follow advice that actually works. I've seen immediate changes in people from reading that book. Plus the slang from the 1930s is pretty entertaining.Good luck.