I think I have depression, if so, what should I do?
As a kid I was happy most of the time, but whenever i got disciplined, scolded, or told not to do sometime, or if I did something wrong, I would always dwell on it longer than I think I should’ve. My parents fought all the time before they got divorced and sometimes took out their anger on me, so I often thought my life sucked. When my parents divorced in 2011, when things got heated all around my family, I felt that my life would never be easy anymore. As I grew up, some people bullied me, and even though I made friends, sometimes I felt worthless to many people in my school, and so I stopped talking to people and the only way I would is if they asked me a question or started a conversation with me, and when responding I often get anxious of what they think of me, with how I say things, my actions, my opinions, and then sometimes I get worried that the only people thatll like me are my friends and family and thats it. Also, within the last few years and even today, I have trouble making decisions a lot. When I don’t make a decision I end up questioning myself for why I didn’t make a decision, and then when I make a decision sometimes I wonder why I did make my decision and sometimes regret making the decision and sometimes I feel these decisions are so easy for ‘normal’ people and I feel like I’m lost.
If you feel you are depressed then you should seek help, it does not matter how depressed you think you are. If you feel depressed you should seek help, because it's easier to heal from depression the earlier it is.
The only way to know for sure, is to go and get a proper diagnosis from a professional, which in any case you should reach out to and talk to. There's a slight difference between being depressed and suffering from depression.
I'm sure there are a bunch of tests and articles you could take online, but you can never trust them completely, the only way to know with certainty is for a certified professional who's got experience in the matter diagnose you.
It's a possibility that you could be suffering from anxiety, and because of that you're feeling depressed which isn't being helped by constantly over thinking things, which leads to more anxiety. See how the vicious circle goes around?
And as for the thinking to much, believe me, you're not alone. I myself am one who spends way to much thinking about things. Indecisive is my middle name. Though apparently, it's a trait my zodiac has, if you believe in those things. I did actually just read an article about a disorder, OTD, Obsessive Thinking Disorder.
You could check it out for yourself and perhaps it'll easy your mind, or give you more clarity. But whatever you do, don't think that wether you have a problem or not, that it somehow makes you weaker than others. And know that it will get better, and you deserve to have normalcy if that's what you want.
”In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.”
You know, you are made wonderfully. And uniquely. Sorry for hearing those but I gotta say this, don't be afraid of the people around you. Be confident! You know you've got your friends who got your back. And trust in them. Tell them what you're feeling all the time, if they're your real friends, surely they'll understand you and stand up for you.
Making decisions is not easy, but try to think of this, make decisions for your future. That will lead you to a brighter future. Don't regret anything, if you think you're having second thoughts, ask yourself, will this harm me? Or will this be a benefit for my future? Then if you think you're doing it right, never regret it. I guess you'll be on the right track.
Be confident all the time, stand up for what is right and do whatever makes you happy! Don't let fear tear you down, let fear pull you up! Prove to them that you're gonna be that someone they'll look up to someday! :-)
God bless you! :)