I Never Thought This Would Happen to Me

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Hey guys. So I used to post on here pretty often. But, things finally started to look up for me and I was sooo happy for a while. School was going great, social life, job, sports, etc. I met a really cool guy and things have been going good with him, too.

Out of nowhere I don’t know what happened. My grades are slipping, I can’t focus, my depression is coming back slowly, I feel like I’m isolating myself.

And then i started to become really self conscience. About a month or two ago I started binging amd purging, and when I’m not doing that, I’m not eating at all. I’ll go days without food and I hate it. All of a sudden I’m so worried about my weight, even though I’m an overall fit person (5’5 and about 112 lbs). I just feel like food and eating/not eating has become the number one concern in my life, I’m constantly worried about how I look.

I also started using adderall, because I read online that it helped with weightloss. and I also use it just to stay focused and alert when I’m working or at school.

I don’t want to have an eating disorder, or take pills. I just want to be the healthy, happy girl I used to be. I want to eat, I just don’t want to gain all my weight back when I do. I just can’t break this constant binge/purge/starve cycle. It’s become an obsession for me to be thin and It’s frustrating.
There’s so many other things going on in my life and I feel like it’s never going to end. I seriously never thought something like this would control me.

I’d appreciate any kind of advice you guys have,

Thank you so much,

Ariana.

Category: Tags: asked March 21, 2015

5 Answers

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accepted
Usually there is a trigger for depression and i think you should find out what caused you to slip back into depression, also maybe u need to relax a bit more and not worry about things like isolating yourself, you can only really socialize when you feel better inside so i would recommend sorting out the depression and eating disorders first. Also for depression i think you should spend some time walking preferably in a natural environment like a forest or a beach or even a park. If im very sad i make a list of all the things im worried about and only the things that really matter. Also eating a low carbohydrate and high fiber diet and drinking a shitton of water should help break the bad eating cycle but it will take a crapton of willpower and mental strength, that u might just have to work through. good luck and message me if u ever need someone to talk to or just want to rant, i dont judge.
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Thank you so much! Anyone have any additional advice?...
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The fact that you're aware it's a problem is a good sign to me. Talk to a trusted adult - a parent, teacher, or maybe your guidance counselor - and see if you can get help from a professional.
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You can try excersizing more. You can go for runs/walks, you can swim, you can start a sport. It helps weight loss if you need to lose weight, it keeps you fit, and it makes you look good :)
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I do a lot of sports! Cross country, track, volleyball, soccer, etc