Hey guys. So I used to post on here pretty often. But, things finally started to look up for me and I was sooo happy for a while. School was going great, social life, job, sports, etc. I met a really cool guy and things have been going good with him, too.
Out of nowhere I don’t know what happened. My grades are slipping, I can’t focus, my depression is coming back slowly, I feel like I’m isolating myself.
And then i started to become really self conscience. About a month or two ago I started binging amd purging, and when I’m not doing that, I’m not eating at all. I’ll go days without food and I hate it. All of a sudden I’m so worried about my weight, even though I’m an overall fit person (5’5 and about 112 lbs). I just feel like food and eating/not eating has become the number one concern in my life, I’m constantly worried about how I look.
I also started using adderall, because I read online that it helped with weightloss. and I also use it just to stay focused and alert when I’m working or at school.
I don’t want to have an eating disorder, or take pills. I just want to be the healthy, happy girl I used to be. I want to eat, I just don’t want to gain all my weight back when I do. I just can’t break this constant binge/purge/starve cycle. It’s become an obsession for me to be thin and It’s frustrating.
There’s so many other things going on in my life and I feel like it’s never going to end. I seriously never thought something like this would control me.
I’d appreciate any kind of advice you guys have,
Thank you so much,
Ariana.
