I need some fixing!


So here’s the deal:

-I have chronic bitch face (if you dont know what that is you’d have to google it), so I look like a completely unapproachable human. LITERALLY everyone thinks i’m ‘mad’ or ‘pissed’ if I don’t walk around with a smile on my face 24/7

- Homecoming is coming up, and i’ve always hated it because I dont think I can dance and i’m extremly self conscious, which stops me from having fun. And I really want to have fun.

- Not only am I self conscious with my dancing – it’s with about everything! I want to be a confident person!! I just don’t know how!

- With school starting, I have to focus on School, School cheer and allstar cheer. I have practice everyday for school cheer and somedays I have to leave on practice early to arrrive late to the other practice! And every day is a ROUTINE! And i hate it. Nothing exciting happens. How can I fix it?

- Last, I’m the type of person who distances themselves from people because of past experiences. By that, I just mean, I have very little ACTUAL friends – and I perfer to walk the halls by myself and do things by myself. I still eat lunch with others though. I have friends that don’t go to my school and live pretty far from me so we can barely hang out, But I want to have more friends so I can do things on weekends and during my free time!! What do I do!

Tags: asked September 6, 2014

3 Answers

You're overbooked. You've got to find some space for yourself. Break routine. Skip practice. Do something unexpected.
I'm in the same boat with the "stone face" that's what I call it lol some people say that they don't know how to approach me because I look mean. I take it as they are intimidated by me, which doesn't bother me much. That just lets me know that people don't come up to me with bs. Try to look at it that way if it makes sense.I would ask if you had to be at both practices but, cheering sounds like it's something you enjoy very much so I wouldn't advise quitting it. I used to be on a drill team with constant practice and learning new things were I felt overwhelmed. You have to work something out with your coaches. Let them know your situation and how you are feeling with all of this going on.And lastly for the friend situation, are your friends in cheer as well? You said you spend most of your time in practice and cheering so that's mainly where your going to have time to make friends and at lunch. Social networks can help you branch out to make new friends too.

FINALLY someone else that suffers from mean mug (as I call it) like me. I am a super jolly guy but if I don't put a smile or even a partial one on my face I look pretty bad ass or pissed off. Thing is I'm pretty jolly and funny but you're right it isn't easy to be smiling 24/7... especially just for others. I can tell you that in time your circle of friends will stop expanding and contracting so much and those that are left in the circle will understand you and not criticize.

Ah yes homecoming... can be very stressful as you feel you have to prove yourself amongst others. Show them how you're doing so well as compared to them. I cannot dance either! I shouldn't say I can't do it.. but I've never tried or learned and it just isn't something that appeals to me. If I was going to go to an event that had some sort of dance I wasn't going to be able to get out of... I would probably youtube it up and bust a move in the living room... or get someone to help me out first :D.

Being a confident person is all about "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference." I am 5'4'' (pretty short and small) can't change it must accept it and I have. I can be pretty hilarious some of the time but not always... either learn to be funnier or not. Try to focus on all the things you can do or that you are good at. Make a list... add new stuff every day and you will realize you're pretty darn good. If there are things you don't like and you can change them then do so. But you first have to accept yourself for who you are and where you are in life.

Well break the cycle. I'm not saying to break your routine but... If I were to ask you on Tuesday 7PM what are you doing? And you can tell me based on a routine schedule... maybe time to either mix it up for just break that and go do something else. Make a bucket list and start doing something new or exciting each week. Doesn't have to be big or extravagant things or even things that cost money. I'm sure you can google bucket list to get a ton of ideas and make your own. Then go make it happen.

Well... you say you distance based on past experiences... does that mean you don't forgive? Depending on what has happened... maybe you should learn to forgive... you're not perfect either after all. Without going into details of what has happened between you and some of these other people... try and consider things from their perspective. So take x event and remember it but then consider it from the other persons view. So now you are the one doing whatever it is to trespass against yourself. Now even if that person was in the wrong for doing it... do you think they meant harm by it? Is there a chance they just made a mistake and would love to be forgiven and get over it?

Think good and long about this saying: We judge ourselves by our intentions but others by their actions.