I recently started seeing this girl, who has been one of my best friends for over 5 years. It just kind of grew that way, I guess. But pretty much since the beginning of the situation I’ve had some doubts, and they still haven’t gone away. Now I was working abroad a month ago, and I got the news that she was in the hospital, and it was serious. So I came back, and now she’s been diagnosed with a nasty disease that can’t be cured, and promises to be long and grueling. I’m taking care of her in the best way possible (not to brag but I’m good at this) but now she’s cutting off a lot of her friends and her job as well. She seems to be putting her eggs in my basket, which leaves me with a real big pressure, and I am in no way sure that I am actually in love. It seems a delicate situation, and it’s hard for me to see whether I’m running from the illness or from a relationship I’m not comfortable with. But every so often I find myself running like hell.
On a personal note (and maybe slightly weird…), I haven’t had a single orgasm during sex since we started seeing each other. I find this very alarming, and since she was my first I can’t compare nothing at all (even though it’s pretty good sex).
I’ld love to see someone else’s perception on this. Seeing as how we have the same circle of close friends, it’s not easy to find somebody objective to talk to..
