I need some advice, badly…


Lately, I have been VERY stressed out. I’ve been asking my doctor and counselor for help, but they recommend the same thing(s) over and over. It’s driving me insane, I think. I’ve tried so many things over the last 9 months and their “+” effects last a week max before going neutral. I’ve already tried the following things: (1) incense sticks (2) smelling salts (3) reading (4) music (5) writing (6) meditation (7) ranting/venting (7) napping (8) art. Now, at only 14 yrs old, I’m smoking 10 packs in 5-6 weeks.
I’m also having problems with my roommate… He’s 21 and has NLD (non-verbal learning disability). He often expects me to entertain him, and gets pissed at the slightest sarcasm that he doesn’t understand. He’ll also get all “rawr” at me because he has to clean our room while my tutor’s here. He nags most of the crap that he cleans up is mine, but he forgets he uses it too. I can’t rant to anyone I know personally because he eventually finds out and gets hateful like, “Thanks. Once again, I’m in trouble, and you can walk away scot free with everyone patting your back. I hope your happy.” I also had to ban him from using my phone, and now he complains I use it too much. He gets jealous because of things I can do better than him at some things, and one night tried to kill himself. But he failed because my pocket knife wasn’t sharp (praise Allah).
If there’s ANY advice, PLEASE message me about it. I need this help badly. Thank you so much for your comments and replies, and thank you for reading over this.

Tags: asked May 10, 2013

1 Answer

I did not dare to give you an answer when I first saw this post, but it seems many others have been frightened as well, so I will give it a shot.

You describe some VERY daunting troubles here, which is why it is difficult to answer, I mean none of us here, to my knowledge, are actual coucelors or psychiatrists. But here we go:

For me, physical exercise is key to feeling better. I get to spend time by myself, I get to learn more about how my body works, and it causes massive releases of chemicals in the brain calming you down and preparing you for challengning mental tasks. So to me it would make sense to give that a try. Start running a bit, or lift weights or start with some kind of naturally progressing sport like climbing. The point is to drive your body into a pleasant fatigue so that you calm down and can really turn your brain back on. Now, this method takes time. It takes time to feel like you are good at what you do, and it takes time to really help. You need to learn to be fond of the pain you experience while pushing your body and you need to learn the difference between good and bad pain. Only your body can tell you that, so experiment a bit here.

As to the other problem, I'd say move out. I can see that being 14 does not really give you many options in terms of economic freedom or anything, but maybe you can use the same mechanism you got into this unhealthy roommate relationship to get out of it? If it really is so that there is no way out, I think you must find a way to bring your mate to a councelor with you and talk this stuff out. It seems he is a very defensive person, so it will be key to let him know in a way that does not get him upset. Ease him into it somehow. And let him know that he is not "in trouble". Maybe try the angle "we are in trouble". I don't really know what might work with this guy, but the way things are now are non acceptable.

I hope this helped you a little bit, and just message me if you think I must explain further, or if you want anything else :-)