I need advice on my feeling toward my friend?


I dated this guy for seven months. It was long distance so we spent most of the time texting or talking to one another on the phone. While we were dating for the last month of the relationship, he had told me he had feeling that made him uncomfortable. He found out that he was gay. So naturally we broke up, but we then became best friends. I still talk to him everyday and I wouldn’t change that for anything. The problem is I am still in love with him. Every time I think that it is just because I love him as a friend I prove myself wrong by just talking with him. I love him as a friend and I am in love with him and I want more than anything for it to be more than just friends. I dream about us and the way we used to be. I dream about us eventually getting married and travelling with each other like we used to talk about. I am still deeply in love with him and I don’t know what to do.

Category: asked March 25, 2014

2 Answers

In any breakup it can be difficult to let go, especially if things ended amicably. My advice to you would be to spend some time without contacting him. Not break off the friendship entirely mind you, but explain to him that you still have feelings from your relationship, and you need to have some time and space to let go of your attachment to him.I have only had one girlfriend, and we were together for 4 years. It took me almost a year to completely let go of my feelings for her, and it was very painful and difficult, but I did eventually move on. Emotional attachment is very powerful, and hard to let go of, but if you can separate yourself from him for a while and let go of these feelings, you will be able to return to a real friendship that will be healthy for both of you!
I've been in this exact situation before. And no matter what you do you can't make him un-gay. I think the best thing to do is distance yourself from him so you can get over those feelings. And then when you feel ready you can go back to being friends. He likes guys and you can't make him love you like that. I'm sorry that happened, it's a really sucky feeling. Good luck!