I need advice about liking my best friend, but only since she came out

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I’ve always had an inkling that my friend was at least bi. When I came out she was really happy for me and supportive as i knew she would be. One day she mentioned that she could never really picture herself being with a girl and I didn’t think anything of it except that maybe my inkling was wrong. I’ve always found her pretty and kinda thought about the possibility of us going out if she was in anyway queer but since she was my best friend and straight I didn’t really think that hard about it or took it seriously so i never really saw her in that way that much. But recently she came out to me cause she realized she liked this girl at her school and that she was bi. She doesn’t want to come out to anyone else yet, and the only reason she came out to me was because i was already out and she really wanted to talk to someone about it. And I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden I’d catch myself in a day dream about asking her out or something. I didn’t do this before, so i keep telling myself i only like her cause she’s the only other queer girl i know. But i don’t know cause i really like the idea of us holding hands on our way to the movies, or me asking her to be my girlfriends and her saying yes. ugggh then theres the problem of the girl she likes, who she knows is bi as well, and she also likes this other boy and i don’t go to school with her anymore so I can’t tell if these people would be idk a threat or something, is that the right way to put it? And we only really see each other on weekends, so we aren’t as close as we used to be but we’re still really close and I don’t know what to do, I kinda just needed a place to put these thoughts cause she’s not out yet so i can’t talk to anyone I know yet about it. So if you actually took the time to read this thank you and if you have any advice that would be amazing, thanks!!

Category: Tags: asked January 8, 2015

2 Answers

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It sounds like you're seeing her in another light since she came out as bi. Maybe she might seem more appealing to you now, but this could be a temporarily thing. Maybe you just find it new and exciting that she came out and that you might have a chance to be with a girl. It seems like a tricky situation since she's into a girl who at her own turn likes someone else. Try to hang out with her as much as possible. You could take her to the movies or something and see how things go from there. If you find yourself really falling for her, then you should tell her how you feel. There's always a chance that she might say yes. Spend more time with her and see how things go from there.
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I was in the exact position as you are now, i had a crush on my best friend and i could not like her. For one, she was straight and two...she is my best friend. I distanced myself for a little bit, so i could attempt to get over these feelings; it worked for me. I guess i didn't really like her, i liked the idea of being in a relationship and that is what had confused me. That happens a lot to me though, so i wouldn't worry that much about it. Sometimes it might seem like you are going insane and that is the part that sucks because you want their attention, but try to hang on. It will get better.