I need advice..


Okay. So, Me and my ex-boyfriend broke up a couple weeks ago. He broke up with me because he didn’t care.. He couldn’t deal with me being depressed and me wanting to kill myself. I am not over him, but I stopped crying. I see him everyday in school and he lives a few blocks away from me.. I met this guy a few days ago and now we are suddenly dating. I don’t know what to do.. I’m still not fully over my ex and I am afraid of getting hurt. This guy distracts me from the thoughts of my ex, but I don’t think I’m ready yet.. I don’t know what to tell him, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.. I don’t want him to think anything is serious but I don’t know what to tell him. Along with my anxiety, I have suicidal thoughts everyday, which is why my ex left. I don’t want him to leave because of the same reason. I don’t know which path to take. I could stay with him but these feelings wouldn’t be real.. Or I could leave and risk him being mad and distancing himself from me. I feel like he will leave anyways, so should I just save myself from another heartbreak..?

Category: Tags: asked February 5, 2015

2 Answers

It's not easy for bystanders to deal with someone who goes through a depression. Your ex simply couldn't deal with it and I'm sorry that he walked away. You deserve someone to be there for you and to support you through this. The person that you're dating can be a nice distraction for you and it's understandable that you're not into having a new relationship. Talk with him honestly and tell him that you like to hang out with him, but that you're simply not ready for more. It's okay that you just want someone to be there, but that you're not interested in more. I've been there, I dated someone too, but after a while I told honestly that I simply wasn't ready and incapable to feel the same. It's important to look for a quiet place to talk in private. Clearly explain why you don't want more. If he likes you and values you as a friend, he'll stick around and still be there for you when you want him to. If he'd decide to walk away, then he wasn't worth your trouble. It's very important to put your own health first.
It's understandable to be scared that you will get hurt again, but if this guy genuinely likes and care about you, he would help you through your thoughts and feelings, not leave you. If you're not ready to have him as a boyfriend, just be honest with him. Let him know that you are interested and enjoy his company, but you want to take things slow. If he likes you, he will respect your wishes.