I love being alone yet hate being lonely.

Hello, so, for about a year and a half. I’ve felt fearful of silence. Yes. Silence. I can’t sleep in silence, and I need some sort of sound. Recently, while I’m at home. I am often alone. I’ve discovered that, I really love having the house to myself, yet I find myself, chatting with people. I really love company with people but I really like to be alone.
I’m not sure how to fix this situation for myself. I had a really close friends, and I was somewhat happy, I could stand being alone for a long time and when I felt bad, I’d keep to myself and block out the world with music. Lately, I find myself crying by myself, not like it’s something new. But more often. I love when my mother isn’t around yet I feel safer when she is. I don’t understand these feelings, it should be one or the other, shouldn’t it. Does anyone ever feel the same way though ?

Category: Society & Culture asked February 10, 2014

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Xiem

2 Answers

It doesn't necessarily have to be one or the other. I relate to this a lot because I have an introverted personality but at the same time I often feel a longing to be with my friends. It's totally okay for you to feel this way. Think of yourself as a person with many sides to them. Not all those sides will show under different circumstances. If this makes you feel imbalanced or uneasy or upset at times, try pinpointing when you feel like being with people and when you feel like being alone or writing down things that trigger these feelings. Try discussing this with people around you because then it makes it easier to either be close to people or away from them when you most want it because they might be more aware of it. Try different social interactions that either bring you company (like making a phone call every now and again or something similar when you want to be with someone) or ways to politely make it understood that you'd like some space.

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Lina

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Hello SilentSerenity. Oh to have peace of mind all the time! Wouldn't it be nice? For starters, you weren't created to be alone so it's only natural that long periods of alone time will lead to loneliness or depression. I'm not sure that's what you feel, but I'm going to go with that. Here's some advice. Perhaps try finding ways to help others or be grateful for what you have. A great site for getting ideas about this is kindspring.org. The more you do for others and help others, the less time you will have to think about yourself. After a long day of loving other people, you will ENJOY the quiet solitude and rest. Perhaps schedule a time once every two weeks to do dinner with your mom (if she lives near), volunteer at an elderly center, take up a hobby that you can share with others (knitting, sculpting, painting, writing, etc.), or just walk outside and smile at people who pass by. If you let the fear control you, it may end up controlling your life and having you miss out on happiness and peace. Remember, you were created special and you have a special talent you can share with others. Don't always (of course it will sometimes!) let your mind and fear control your ability to find peace and happiness for yourself. I hope this helps :)

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lovejoy