I learned about the ex girlfriend of my boyfriend. :(?

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we’ve been together for 5 months then one time i asked him about his past relationships, i am curious i just want to know his past relationships. then he told me about his ex girlfriend before, they’ve been together for 3 months then he told me that they casually having sex before they’re officially became girlfriends/boyfriends.he didn’t told me exactly why they broke up, he told me that his ex pretends to be pregnant because she wanted to get back to him before but that didn’t worked out as well. after knowing his messy past, i got hurt. so much.. i feel a little bit dirty knowing that he had sex with a lot of women before. i cried a lot but i pretend that im fine in front of him. what do you think i should do? i know i shouldn’t be dwelling on the past.but thinking about his ex girlfriends gave me chills. what is the best thing to deal with this? im desperate please help. i love him so much.. but his past keeps haunting me and hurting me.

Category: Tags: asked December 27, 2013

4 Answers

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accepted
First of all, it's normal to wonder about your loved one's past. Now that you know, you can't undo it. All you can do is accept that it happened, that it's a part of his past, and he let go of it. The fact she went as far as faking a pregnancy just to keep him means she doesn't really have the emotional maturity to deal with a breakup very well. And as you're probably thinking, yes he got turned off by that. She's in the past. SHE is the one that has to let go and learn to accept it's been just a chapter in her life and moving on is the best solution. YOU'RE his present. He's not with her, he's with you, and he trusted you enough to share his past with you, especially if it's shitty, probably because he felt you'd understand that no matter how shitty his past'd be, he's not looking into that anymore, he's looking at you :') And especially if you love him, and are hurt by that, don't think you're abnormal. you're hurt BECAUSE you care so much. You should accept it.. and know he's here now with you, and shared a part of his past with you, which is a sign of trust. You can discuss it with him, tell him that it hurt you, the thought of that, because you love him. But that you're aware it's in the past, and it's over, and you're happy he shared that with you. Don't dwell on that too much, focus on being happy with him :')
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You need to talk to him, you cant be unhappy in a relationship. Tell him how you feel :)
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I totally agree with Cat talk to him, tell him how you feel, you don't have to support his past since he's with you, your his girlfriend and you make him happy ! Let the past be the past.
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Fair enough that you're concerned, just don't deal with it on your own if you really are hurting. The best person to approach with this issue is your significant other. Just remember to phrase it so that he doesn't feel like you're punishing him for things in the past - because no one can change the past anymore. Just do what it takes to make it a constructive future together. I'm sure everything will turn out alright! Chin up, buttercup! (: