So here is the dealio, i dont want to post this for attention or anything. But you know when you just have those moments when you really want to just sit down, and word vomit every aspect of your life and issues to the world? or at least to someone. so someone caring enough will read it and maybe they could be on your level or at least just understand. Or even just to listen. Thats my issue, these days many people dont even bother to ask one another what is going on in a certains persons life, when WE ALL KNOW we love talking about ourselvs. If you are anything like me you are a pro at holding every inch of your life inside your head and then pron to explosion.
so here it goes,
My mom and me havnt talked or barley seen each other for two years. last time i was like 14. I was so fed yp with the way she degraded me against my sister, the way she set me out for my family to hate me. It all came to the point where i only had myself and i got pretty good at standing up for myself and caring for myself emotionally when there was NO one in a 4 person home to talk to. because even my big sis she hated me. It got to where i obtained a very serious gaurd. i will admit i was rude. i lashed out only to protect myself from being told i wasnt good enough, i was practicall worthless none the less, and so on. so 2 years ago about 4 months before i finally moved out and in with my dad ( they were divorced) I had started to take clothes, and other possesion to my dads until i had the bare minimum at my moms. she never noticed eveything was slowly disappearing. until one day she crossed the line aagain, and looked her in the face and said “im leaving you, this house, all of you. im living with my dad.” i packed every last but up and havnt come back to her since. sometimes i feel like alot of the issues i have today are bc of her. not being able to cope with certain things properly and so on. bc you know a mother is something a little girl at the age really needed and still does? im only 16 im still learning things. But over time i know i became stronger and pretty good at helping myself out when it comes to difficult tasks. and you know what. some times that feels amazing. its good to know i got out of that. bc i was spiraling into depression and sadness and i knew in a way i had to pick myself off the ground before it got worse
