I just want to cut off my boobs.. Help!

I don’t know if i actually is a transgender all that i know is that i just HATE being a woman.
I’ve hated it since it happend, the rape.
I’ve been treated like shit by my exes, 2 of them actually raped me and had sex with me several time without my consent and even when i resisted.
It’s been a while, couple of years, but the memories haunt me like echoes.
I’m diagnosed with PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder.

anyway, since it happend I’ve myself become really sexist against women and men.
I hate myself because I’m a woman but I know I shouldnt! I just feel so accused, traumatized and violated.
When I see a woman I automaticly see a victim
and when i see a male i automaticly see a offender.
I hate it but i cant help it!

I’m siriously having a desire to cut my boobs off and grow a penis, just because i think they’re having it much easier!
But I wouldnt know if they are.

Im just sick off the glares on me, my boobs body, the judgeing.
Im not a “girly girl” exactly but everyone tell me: “you cant do that or you cant do that because you’re a girl!”

i fucking hate it so much. please talk some sense into me. I dont want to feel like this simply because of my gender.

Category: Sexuality Tags: #females #whyme #why #gender #equality #omg #idontwanttobeaccusedanymore #letthisend asked October 29, 2013

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CutiePugie

3 Answers

2 accepted

Hey, it's normal to feel and experience all kinds of crazy emotions and thoughts when you go through something as traumatic as you've been through. But the last thing you should do is hate yourself because of it. You've done nothing wrong. It's natural to be defensive and scared around men but you have to work through it. Don't let this define you. You are not your experiences, you are what you take from them. My advice would be to empower yourself. Perhaps take a self defense course or kick boxing so you can feel safer on the streets while also letting out your frustration and getting exercise, which releases endorphin's that will boost your mood. Also joining a support group would be greatly beneficial for you. You are not alone. And also you said you've been diagnosed with PTSD but I'm not sure if you're in therapy now but I would suggest it. All of these things can help you work through this, don't be afraid to speak up and speak out. Start thinking of yourself as a survivor rather than a victim. You are beautiful and wonderful in every way.

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Emma

Hey, I want to propose a question to you instead. What makes a woman and woman and what makes a man a man? What makes a human a human? think about it. You were created a PERSON and that is who you are. Instead of trying to think of it as penis or no penis, or boobs or no boobs, or sexual dominance, try to gain a new perspective. Thinking about it in a different way is the first step to being able to love yourself for who you are. It sounds silly, but you need to recognize yourself as a human being solely.

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Onelife

Your answers made me cry. Thanks. a lot. Ill try my best.

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CutiePugie