How do I handle a toxic friendship.


How do I properly explain to her she’s draining me?
I’ll explain, I do understand venting, I get it, but she doesn’t just vent and she does it about EVERYTHING. If her mom asks her to pick up groceries (they only have one car, so if she’s using it her mom is stranded.) she throw a fit and even yells at her. She gets really upset if I don’t text back within an hour and shes driving me nuts.
An example of her attitude: Its her birthday, we are hanging out, I have to leave soon, she gets a text from two other friends asking if she wants to go out, they got her presents. She texts them that she has no gas, they say they’ll pick her up (she lives in the goshdarn country, middle of nowhere) she texts back ‘okay’. Now she’s not home, she at my Bro’s place with me, she starts complaining about them and not wanting to go, then 30 minutes later checks her phone and get mad because they are at her house,asking her where she was, they had texted ‘cool see you in 20′ earlier and driven to her house to pick her up….but she hadn’t checked her phone. Now she’s mad at them because “they should have known how I am, I just reply without thinking” and shes mad they are mad. WTF.
I tried saying “yeah but that was kinda rude, I mean you knew you weren’t home” but she just got more annoyed and keep trying to prove her point and I’m non confrontational so I just kind shut down.
I can’t handle this much social interaction. My best friend and I only hang out twice a month and text maybe every other day if not less. We are cool with that. This girl is driving me insane. And she doesn’t get along with my best friend so I can’t hang out with both.
Biggest issue, she’s my brother’s girlfriend. It makes this really difficult. I always try hard to like my brother’s girlfriends and since he’s in basic I’m trying to bond but…. but… its so tiring.

Category: Tags: asked November 20, 2014

3 Answers

Maybe you want to sit her down for a chat. Sometimes, it's best to be really brutally honest about something even if it is something you don't want to do and makes you nervous. But at the same time, you need to think about how you feel, and how tiring she is making it to be friends with her.
Maybe you should tell her that she's very overbearing and that you want to hang out with her to have fun, not to hear her complain about the most silly things? I mean, sure, it's okay if it's something a little more serious, like bullying or she's been hurt/injured or attacked or something, but if it's constant whining over trivial stuff and she's offloading it all on you, it's not fair.Maybe you could even offer her some advice, like writing down a diary of things that have bothered her today or how her day has been, and then that way, she's not a constant ticking timebomb in your face :)
Yeah, maybe I should write down what I want to say so I don't get lost and just start rambling about it. Tomorrow we are driving up to the fort to see my brother for Family day, its a 7 hr drive minimum one way and we'll be there all weekend. Do yah'll think I should talk to her after the trip, in case it doesn't go over well?
I agree with @huggable-cactus. And yes, I would wait until afterwards, that way you can relax and enjoy your trip.