i have always felt like i have wanted to be a boy but i dont wanna tell anyone because i feel as if

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i am really confused about my gender identity, i currently identify as a girl but for as long as i can remember ive wanted to be a boy. i think about this most of the time and it is really frustrating. i am going to prom this year and i have a really beautiful dress, im gonna try and be as girly as possible at prom, mainly because i need to know if i do infact want to be a boy.
i am also bisexual, i think if i told anyone how i feel they would tell me there is no point in “changing gender”.
after prom i am planning to get a “boy haircut”, my mom has asked why i want to do this and all i’ve said is i dont like my hair as it is, i am really confused and i dont know what to do.
i was originally planning on going to prom wearing a suit but obviously everyone i told about that said i would look stupid -_-.
i might wait a couple of more months to see how i feel, if i still feel the same then then i will tell a few people but i am really not sure.
can someone give me some advice please? :/

Category: Tags: asked May 15, 2014

7 Answers

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I can't say I have much experience with this, but I hope I can offer some general advice that will be helpful while you think about all this. I think that a couple months might be rushing things. For something as permanent as a gender switch, you should be 100% certain that it's what you want. In your case, being bisexual, that can add a lot of confusion to an already confusing feeling. I think you could use some friends who are more supportive of you, for starters. People who will understand, and not judge or pressure you one way or the other. It's your body, after all, so in the end, you have to be the one happy with it. Try and seperate your feelings between sexual preference and feeling misplaced. If you can do that, I think it will become more clear - though it sounds like you're already down the path to an answer. If ever things seem too hard, or you have more questions, feel free to send me a message. I'll do everything I can to help.
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I have a transgender friend. I honestly feel like changing your gender can be a big deal, if you know that you want to be a boy, then you should definitely come out. Usually transgender people know... they just hide it. I think you know deep down what you want, you're just afraid of going after it, which is normal. My advice though is to learn to love your body the way it is, my friend has a hard time with relationships because he can't stand the fact that he is biologically female, although it's frustrating not to have the body that you want, I think that you should learn to love yourself despite it, and the transformation into a boy will be a more positive experience and less of a stressful, horrible one.
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I think the best thing for you to do is reach out to someone who is also transgender. only they know exactly how you feel. i can say great words of encouragement to you but i feel if you can meet someone who has had the same experiences with you, you can feel more comfortable with yourself.
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While I don't know what it feels like to be transgender, being gender fluid I understand how confused people can get when they don't understand why you might not be comfortable with the gender you're born as vs what you identify as. Sometimes I'm fine being female (my biological gender) a good portion of the time I wish I was born male (this also tends to be when I stress the most over my hair cut because I want it short for a variety of reasons) but most of the time I'm just neutral. However, I'm not out as gender fluid except to the people in my local LGBT group, and they've been highly supportive of this. Even if you're not ready to come out to a multitude of people, talking about this to someone you feel you can trust can be highly beneficial. If you would rather think it over more before telling anyone that's also fine because whom you do or do not tell is your choice. It's your life, understanding what makes you happy/more comfortable is totally worth it.
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So I have a lot of experience with this since I'm gender fluid (meaning my gender changes over time) I think that if you really feeling like a boy and want to wear a suit and get a 'boy' haircut then go ahead! It doesn't matter what other people think, you're still gonna be the same person and people should accept you as you are, it might take a while for you to figure it out and for other people to accept it as well. But I don't thing you should wear a dress or act like a girl if you don't want to. I spent a lot of time trying to hide who I really was and it didn't make me any happier, sure it made my mom happy and everyone else but you can go around you're whole life making other people happy when you're not. You should just be yourself, wear what you want to wear and be who you feel you are. Also you can be bisexual and transgender/gender fluid or whatever, being bisexual doesn't change you're gender identity, because sexual orientation and sex in general is a totally different thing from gender identity. I hope this helped! :)
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So I have a lot of experience with this since I'm gender fluid (meaning my gender changes over time) I think that if you really feeling like a boy and want to wear a suit and get a 'boy' haircut then go ahead! It doesn't matter what other people think, you're still gonna be the same person and people should accept you as you are, it might take a while for you to figure it out and for other people to accept it as well. But I don't thing you should wear a dress or act like a girl if you don't want to. I spent a lot of time trying to hide who I really was and it didn't make me any happier, sure it made my mom happy and everyone else but you can go around you're whole life making other people happy when you're not. You should just be yourself, wear what you want to wear and be who you feel you are. Also you can be bisexual and transgender/gender fluid or whatever, being bisexual doesn't change you're gender identity, because sexual orientation and sex in general is a totally different thing from gender identity. I hope this helped! :)
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i identify as agender but ive identified as gender fluid as well as a lot of other things in the past so ive tried out a lot of genders. personally from your question you sound like a straight up trans male but if you dont feel as if you are 100% male then youre probably something more neutral like a demiguy or an enby. thats just what i think its ultimately up to you, how you feel, and what makes you nmost comfortable.