I fill it would be unfair to my child if I had a boyfriend??

1

Every time a guy trys to talkto me or hang out I always blow them off or come up with an excuse why I can’t!. Its always just been me and my son, and I don’t want him to fill as if somebody is take me from him!! But some nights I just lay in bed thinking I need a guy, I get very lonely at times!! I’m kind of stuck on what to do??

asked October 26, 2014

8 Answers

3
I think you should do what you want to do, Megan. If you feel lonely, and in need of a male companion, I believe that your son shouldn't mind too much, really. As your son needs his own happiness, and while he is part of your happiness, you sound like you need more than someone related by blood. And while I do advise you to go out and find a mate for yourself, I am not advising bringing so many that your child begins to wonder why a different man has been visiting your house every now and then.. That could confuse him, so, while you're finding someone who's right for you, also be careful about who you're giving a chance to and maybe how often, okay? But mainly just trust your heart. What you think is best.
2
You deserve some love in your life. Have you talked about this with your son? He might be far more understanding then you hope. Try finding a guy he also likes, he might not understand at first (and even show some hostility), but most of the time they grow to accept it.
1
Parents also need healthy adult relationships. And a healthy adult relationship for you could also teach your child how to develop healthy relationships.
Be protective of your child, but not over protective. There are many people that have done this successfully. You can always keep your son as the #1 man in your life, even while you find someone else to share your company.
1
The idea that you have to sacrifice all of your time, energy and happiness to your son is unhealthy. The idea that your son's happiness negates yours is unhealthy. It is not a dichotomy. You can find a way to make a relationship work with children. Men and women have been having children and living together for thousands of years, so what makes you think you're any less capable of doing it?

You have needs your son can not fulfill. Get a babysitter, get away from that boy, go on a date and stop this awful train of thought, it is only making you miserable. You deserve to be happy, too.
0
Its complicated because I don't have anybody that would watch him for me, so in the past if I wanted to go on date my son went and I don't want him to me 2 or 3 different guys if the first or second don't work out...he does love male attention tho, when ever his grandpa DOES decide to drop by for a visit my son gets so excited or if any male in the family for that matter!! Its kinda makes me sad/jealous witch I know seems selfish I no but if I get sad or jealous seeimg him love somebody else I domt want him to fill like that if I find a partner
0
I think a male figure in his life will be very helpfull for him too! You both need him: you need a couple to dupport you and he needs someone to call 'dad'. Besides, your happiness is the best gift for your son. If that means having a boyfriend, then your kid will apreciate it~
0
Perhaps try talking to your son about it, see how he feels about you starting to date again. You deserve happiness, and if dating someone makes you happy then go for it! Also the influence of a male role model could be very beneficial, there are some things your son wouldn't open up to you about which he may find more comfortable talking to a male role model about.
0
I understand that having a child does change things a bit, and it is great that you consider your child in these situations, because some parents don't. However, I do not think dating will be unfair to your child, as long as your do it responsibly. By that I mean, as long as it is a man who can get along with your child and is willing to understand that you will always have a child to put before said man. With that said, even though you are a mother, you deserve to be happy, and your son deserves a happy mom. If you feel lonely don't be afraid to go out there and get a boyfriend if that is what you want. Your son will always come first, but you can find a man who understands that.