I feel like I’m two-faced, sometimes it scares me..

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Ok so, I need to figure it out, because I’m feeling that I’m becoming more and more double-sided, and now I’m fully aware of it, but I need someone who can tell me something about this.
I’ll be more clear. Do you know when there are times that your thoughts take different ways and you can’t follow them anymore so you arrive at that “ok so… where was I?”. I follow them. And I arrive at that point that where I’m ok with both thoughts but they’re clearly one against each other.

Sometimes I’m the most patient person, sometimes I’m not at all. Sometimes I want to be with others and I feel lonely, and other times I just want to be by myself. Sometimes I like my friends, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have a lot of strenght in my soul, sometimes I just can’t do anything. Sometimes I’m the most cheerful person, sometimes I keep thinking about bad things (and I know I do it just for fun, but even this is still uncertain, because even though I say it to myself, I feel sad and excited at the same time).

And what is worst, is that my mood is always changing from a day to another. I have a friend of mine who is the same about the mood, so I just let it be (and right now I’m even better than months ago: I would always change mood, it was exhausting, but even that I liked it because I love emotions).

What do you think? Is it just me actually enjoying all of this, or it’s something else? Or it’s just completely normal? I don’t know, thank you for your help!

Category: asked February 13, 2015

4 Answers

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I'm the exact same way. I also have mood swings like that and I can relate to feeling two-faced. It could be a personality disorder. I suggest you talk about this with your doctor so you can get directed to the right places to get a better answer on this. Just know that you're not alone. You can always message me if you want to talk about it.
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Personally I'm seeing a psychologist and they're getting me tested to pinpoint what's going on exactly, so that I'd also have some closure. Maybe you can try to look into that as well. It can be difficult when you're not always home, but maybe they can help you to schedule it properly so it would be an option for you.
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It sounds like bipolar disorder, I suggest getting it checked.
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Thanks, I know I'm not alone, but still, I don't know what to do. I thought of going to a psychologist, but I'm a little reclutant. Also, I have the problem that I'm not always at home (I live away for college) so I don't really have the time to go to my doctor, what should I do?