I feel like I might be lesbian and I’m a little freaked out by it??


I came out as bisexual this year to my friends after I finally made peace with my sexuality, but lately I’ve been feeling like I might be lesbian after I realized that I’ve been having huge crushes on girls and no feelings at all towards boys.

I was in a couple of relationships with boys when I was 13, but that was years ago. During those relationships, I feel like I only really liked one of those guys, but I was so young during that time that I’m not sure if it was real or if I was just being naive. I have never been with a girl, but ever since I started high school I’ve been falling really hard for girls and none of those crushes ever went anywhere because all of those girls were straight friends.

A part of me feels like I shouldn’t rush into labeling myself if I’m not sure. As for now, I honestly cannot see myself loving a boy. I’m very much physically attracted to boys, but I just can’t see myself having a strong emotional connection with any of them. I’m not sure if this is because I haven’t been in a real relationship in so long or if I’m just disgusted with the behavior of the boys around me–but I’m honestly so confused and as horrible as it is for me to say, a part of me is frightened at the idea of being lesbian. I don’t even know how I would begin to explain that to my parents or the people around me in my life. I know that I have a lot of time to figure it out but I’m not even comfortable enough with my sexuality to approach a girl so I don’t even have anything to compare it to in order to know for sure what it is that I want.

I don’t wanna end up coming out to my family as lesbian and then one day end up falling in love with a boy and having to explain that to people. I feel like I shouldn’t label myself at all, but the people in my life make me feel like my bisexuality isn’t valid and that I HAVE to be either straight or gay–they don’t treat me anywhere in between and it’s so frustrating.

Category: asked May 16, 2015

4 Answers

Stop trying to label yourself. It's not going to do you any good.

For now focus on being happy and being you. Fall in love with a person not with a gender. Your sexuality is only yours and your partner's business. There should be no rushing this. You only need to disclose who you're dating and not why.

I'm bisexual and picked my husband because he was the best person for me. If he was female I'd have married him just the same. Picking the right person is more important than picking a label to define you. Let yourself learn and love and if anyone ask just tell them it's none of their business. Because it's not any of their business.
Just do what you feel is right
I was exactly the same as you! I'm 17, and i was so so confused. Your best bet is to just say you're bi, that way you can have either without having to explain yourself. Some weeks i'll find i like girls more than guys and vice versa... it's rather strange but you just need to go with it girl.I think, when and if you do finally have intamicy with a girl it will be the break it or make it on realising if you like that. Message me if you ever need to x
@Swifting just NAILED IT. I mean...I was all excited because you typed a really long post. A post I really enjoyed sinking my teeth into (Thank You! @unwakeable), which was so much better than the typical 3-4 wispy lines of most questions.

So I was taking mental notes as I read, if you've come across any of my writing you'll know that I'm...basically crazy and am constantly typing small books to people. So here I am, prepared to bombard you with at least 12, maybe upwards of 16 paragraphs.

But then I read @Swifting 's response, just to "check out the competition" lol. No, but seriously, you want to make sure that you aren't echoing things that other's have already covered, etc.

But I read it and all my ammunition basically fired off through @Swifting 's gun right in front of me. I mean @Swifting basically covered every single topic and angle that I wanted to and did a better job, and has had extensive experience to draw upon to help inform their answer.

@Swifting is bi and married to a husband, that is NOT my experience, lol. So from that perspective, @Swifting 's point of view is the most valuable, in theory (my theory, don't let feminism pop and ruin everything).

So great job on a great answer @Swifting and @unwakeable, just listen to @Swifting and good luck, if you have any questions just post in here again...or a new topic or you can pm me. Thanks!

... oh ..wow I still managed to rant for multiple paragraphs. I really do have some kind of sickness, lol.