I’m 20 years old, never really got along with my mum, I will do all sorts of favors for my friends and boyfriend, I even put him before me usually, depending on the situation, I find myself always caring before them before my family especially my mum. I don’t want to sound ungreatful for my family as I really appreciate them, I just can’t stand them for more than a couple days, they always say things that bug me, and my mum for most of my teenage years would make me feel really bad about myself. Then when she would be really mean to me, later she would be really apologetic and try to buy me. I know our issues go deeper than that, but apart of that is she had me at a young age, shes alot younger than my dad, they’re not together, they haven’t been since I was 4, and I’ve always thought she was slightly jealous of me in the aspect that I get to go out, do things she couldn’t do when she was my age because she had me. It isn’t my fault though, she would get me whatever I wanted, but I’ve always been jealous of my friends who have their mums as their bestfriend, I never goto my mum for advise because I don’t feel like I can/ not comfortable to because she would judge it, or not take it seriously..she doesn’t think outside of the box from another persons perspective JUST hers.. and then she’ll complain how i do everything for my friends but not her.. I’m in my 20′s now and I just don’t know what to do or how I can even start over..because I know how she is, she won’t change. How do you think I can approach her about how I feel? without offending her..
Hey CMasterson, you want to have a better relationship with your mom and that's great, it can happen. There may not be a guaranteed way of approaching your mom and getting the result you want. But you love her and she loves you right? Two imperfect people who have imperfect ways of showing feelings and emotions. You know your mom, way better than myself of course and so you'll be able to rely on that to help you. What I would say is to tell your mom you love her, and maybe the hardest part of all, but the truest way to show your intent is to forgive her for the mistakes that she makes. Show her how far you are willing to go to be close to her and be patient and I believe she will reciprocate, at the very least you will start to love your mother more regardless!
write a letter. write all your feelings out. when you feel its the right time for her to know how you feel, you give it to her. i have a horrible relationship with my mother as well. i have an entire journal where i write to her. i dont think i'd ever give it to her... but i do think it helps so much.