I don’t know what to do anymore (friend problems)

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To make this less confusing i’ll refer to my friends as friend A and friend B. (also i’m sorry this is kinda long but I really need some help from anyone who’ll listen)

I’m becoming super stressed out because friend A basically told friend B that she didn’t want to be friends anymore, because she was stressing her out? At first i was super confused as to why my friend A would ever say anything like that but it turns out friend B has major family, home life and mental issues and was depending only on friend A as a sort of crutch?

Anyway friend B has now turned to me for help and I love her to pieces but she’s asking me to pick a side and I can’t because I think friend A was harsh in her way of dealing with things, but is totally right in putting her mental state ahead of anything else? And that friend B is totally justifiably angry and upset about friend A, but i also believe that she’s not really thinking about other’s and their mental states, and how no one in our group of friends is mentally or professionally able to deal with what she’s going through?

So I flat out told friend B that I too am not able to help her or give any advice because I am not professionally able to help her with all the shit she’s going through right now and I recommended she see someone professional or at least see one of our guidance counselors at school to help her. But she said that if she talks to anyone professional she’s afraid that she might be taken away from her family? And I don’t want to be a bitch, but I honestly think that at this point if her home life has gotten this bad that maybe some changes should be made?

What’s happening that’s really worrying me though is that every other friend in my group of friends have chosen friend B’s side and are now pushing her away from them and i’m really worried about her because she’s been suicidal in the past and I really don’t want to push her away but she’s stressing me out and giving me 24/7 anxiety.

I feel I need to help her or no one else will, but i’m stuck as to what to do. If you have any suggestions at all please comment, thank you so much everyone.

Category: Tags: asked December 5, 2014

2 Answers

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accepted

I think it's really good that you are still trying to help her. As far as "picking a side," that's not really fair to anyone. If she insists on this you can simply say that you aren't comfortable choosing one side over the other. You could also try to explain that you care about her and want to help her out, but your other friends are also important to you.
If you are comfortable doing so, you could go to the counselor yourself and talk about the situation. Maybe pose it as a "I have this friend..." scenario just like you did here. You can ask them for more specific information on how they would handle this if B were to talk to them.
But if B doesn't want to talk to the counselor for help, you can't really make her.
On another note, if she tells you that she is suicidal, I would strongly recommend that you refer her to a suicide hotline. If she doesn't want to use the telephone, there are also anonymous chat services like this, but specifically for people who are in crisis.
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You can't help friend b if she doesn't want the help I thinkits childish of her to tell you to pick a side cause she can't tell you what you should do with you life and who you should be friends with. That being said your right suicidal thoughts are something that's not to be taking lightly. I suggest talking to a family or guidance counselor for her, even if that makes her your enemy. I hope this helps and I wish you and your friend the best of luck.