I Dont Know How TO Distance Myself From Him

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ive been with my bf for 1yr and 5 months. and we have a great relationship except we argue.

since summer we argue pretty bad. recently things got to the point where I push him or he pushes me out out of the way.

we argue about stupid things, whos right, and “but you did that last time” and your a hypocrite,

but most of all my bf gets really cold when hes mad at me and he doesn’t really pay attention to what hes saying. this past Saturday he went off for no reason on me, but really cold and I told him we need space. and he really felt bad. So I got back with him, again (we never really spend time apart, the longest was 2weeks) yesterday (Thursday) he went off on me, and he usually say things that he does not ,mean, he called me dense yesterday and that he could be little me, and hel always have that over me, and hes smarter than me. Now It hurt a lot but I forgave him, theirs been times where he called me a smut for walking down the street with my two guy friends, or he posted our personal problems on a social network. and hel keep throwing things in my face even if im hurting so bad and crying on the floor not wanting to move or listen.

but if hes hurting I do everything, and I always end up calling him, looking for him, apologizing.

but he says that I always make it about me, or he’ll say fine we’ll do it YOUR way, hes really immature and hurtful when mad

well today he literally got blew up one because, i didn’t want him to grave something out of my dirty laundry. his excuses were, its mine, and i don’t put on the floor even if its dirty, and just really immature, and he thought i was insinuating something and he was really mad about something so stupid so i said i hate you and i mean it.

of course i don’t mean it, i was upset about this stupid argument and thefact we argue twice earlier this same day, and im tired of crying.

he doesn’t just drop things and im trying to things different but he still responds the same by pushing me out, and now he says im inconsiderate of how he feels when that’s not the truth. and that he lost me because i pushed him away, and it gets me so upset because he sad and done some many things, that if i didn’t care i could just walk away. But i love him and care about him that i swallow it and accept his apology cause i know he doesn’t mean it. But now hes using the excuse that he doesn’t want ot be with me if i keep acting this way, even when he does the same to me..

someone please help, i don’t have any close friends, and i don’t talk to my mom about this because she’ll just get angry that im wasting my time.

But i don’t want to give up on him, i gave everything of myself to him. and if i wasted a whole year over nothing im going to feel so embarrassed about myself and everything ive told him.

i miss being able to get back up when i fall, now i just weep, and i cant focus on things. Im trying to be with friends and go out and do things, but i don’t know how.

please someone help me, idk what to do.

Category: Tags: asked February 28, 2014

3 Answers

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accepted
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i'm sorry to say but to me it seems as if you are in a lose lose situation if your boyfriend decides not to grow up and be a decent person. but staying with him, from what youve told me, seems to be the bigger loss. a good relationship is one in which there is trust, which there is mutual understanding, and which both of you help eachother GROW as human beings. the way you described him to me sounds as if he is not giving you any of that. people grow sour and stop trying, it's the sad truth. im not sure if you have told him how you felt, but the way you described him to me, it seems as if you have already tried and he simply shot back with hate. you weren't exactly right to be mean to him either however i don't blame you if he treats you as bad as you say he does. I know this advise is REALLY tough, but if he is not helping you grow, if he is emotionally overbearing and degrading toward you, you should leave. it will hurt. a lot. but time will heal that and you will get back up and be able to grow independently. now it is up to you to listen to this advice or not, i just want you to know what may lie ahead for you so heads up. i wish you the best! :)
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Would you rather be right or lose him
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You shouldn't be with someone you calls you names and hurts your feelings