I choose being sad over being happy?

What I feel that happens to you, and to many other people (including myself) is that we are kinda afraid of being happy because we know that at any moment we'll be sad again and we'll feel worse, so it's better to be always sad and never get illutioned by anything or excited.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I like to refer to my depression to a warm, familiar blanket. Its something that I know how to be because it has been with me for so long. I have spent more time being depressed than happy. With it also comes the knowledge that I cant be brought down. When im feeling down I think about every negative thing that could happen so I can never be hurt or disappointed when something negative does happen. If Im laying on the ground I cant fall farther than that. Being happy can be scary at times because there have been many times when I am finally up and then something bad happens to tear me down. Being happy feels so good but Im not always sure I know how to be happy and be able to rebound back to happy when something bad happens. I wish I had some advice for you on how to beat it but all I can say is do whatever you can do to keep yourself up. Hang in there.

Perhaps part of it is thinking that sadness is a comfortable rock bottom and with happiness you (usually) have something that you could easily lose, which adds on stress.

I have been in your shoes, I have had severe depression since I was a young teen and I am at a place in my life where I should be the happiest I have ever been...Loving man by my side, beautiful baby boy and a home to call our own...yet sometimes I let myself slide back into that old comfortable numb ache of depression.Personally I think that it happens to those of us that have experienced so much bad in our lives that when things are going good for once we are basically waiting for it to fall apart. We cant let ourselves be happy because when we do, we fear that it wont last so we keep our guard up and our emotions at a low. If we are already sad, no one can take away our happiness.