I’ve been living with my boyfriend for about 5 months now. We live with his parents to save money and help out around the house. Well… First time I move here, I was hoping to get the ball rolling because we both are unemployed. I try my best to motivate the both of us but now 5 months later, still no jobs and his parents are getting really fed up. I’m not sure how to handle this situation only because this is the first time for me. I do most of the cleaning around the house and help his mom out with cooking. All he does is play on his computer. How would you handle this?
Personally, knowing that I'm the one trying and putting in effort to at least clean the house etc. would really piss me off, because it shows that he is lacking motivation to find a job, the whole point of you guys living with his parents is to SAVE money. If you see it as a problem, i'd approach him about it, he's not gaining anything sitting there and playing video games. That would make me extremely frustrated and if it makes you as well i'd tell him now before you bottle it up and one day explode.
I agree. I've been in this situation before, and my instinct is to take on more than I can handle to make up for my partner's lack on involvement. By doing this, you are only reinforcing that is it OK for him to put less effort in- and it will cause tension if you wait any longer to address the problem. Just have an honest, non-heated discussion that is not too critical. Sometimes when we ask for what we need, instead of blaming the other person or being critical, we get it! Good luck :D
And if that doesn't work? I told him how I felt about all this and he says that things will change... But that was two weeks ago. I'm very frustrated and I'd hate things to go sour between us. He's a good man and treats me good. It's just he's... stuck in his comfort zone. And I'm scared that he doesn't want to get out of it,