So it’s been a little over a year since my abusive ex boyfriend has broken up with me. At being 15 I know it’s hard labeling an abusive boyfriend when he didn’t physically harm me, but he was an emotional abuser. At times he was a sexual abuser too but he never raped me. He joked about raping me and he would try to make deals with me for if I kiss him or if I french kiss him or if I let him… He also say things like I could never find someone who would listen or love me as much as he did…and said a lot of other things that aren’t good.
But I know that these things aren’t true and I do have another boyfriend who is really supportive and caring and in ten days we will be dating for 11 months. But I still have the bad feeling that I am letting him still control how I think and how I control my current relationship.
I know that I shouldn’t forget the traits of him so I know what to look in for a current boyfriend and all, but all I want to be is free from the thought that I am scared of him and every time I see him in the halls at school I’m not myself and it’s hard to be myself. I coward and hide behind my boyfriend and friends. Why can’t I just face up to him? How can I move on?