how to stop my ex boyfriend from pursuing me

I'll be completely honest, you sound like what my girl friend probably feels/felt like about me just the other day when I finally pushed her to her limits.Here's what I can tell you coming from 2 perspectives, both from me, but from 2 different sides.Side #1 (the possessive side) - I love my girl friend more than anything, so much that I feel like it would be my fault if something ever happens to her. I take time out of my life almost whenever possible just to spend time with her since we're also best friends. I invest so much into my relationship both emotionally and physically that if it went to waste, I'd feel like poop. I think I can relate to your ex since, to be honest, I would probably be sort of similar. He loves you...unfortunately he doesn't realize that his possessiveness has pushed you away and for an understandable reason. He still wants to believe that he can be a hero and be the perfect guy for you when realistically he can't...or at least for as long as he continues to behave that way. He has lead himself to believe that you are the anchor to his ship and now that the anchor is gone, he is afraid because he's no longer stationery and is now drifting away without control. What he doesn't realize is that he has motor that can help him gain control of where he drifts and that's his self confidence.Side #2 (The reasonable thoughts) - Honestly I know I have possessiveness issues and even worse, a have a short temper, however I'm stepping down from my subconscious ego so that I am able to re-analyze my flaws and determine how to fix them. I can't say that me and my girl friend are truly "done" but I imagine that if continue to preserve my bad habits, my relationship will truly crumble. I value my relationship more than anything other than my family, but I've had to realize that I can not control anyone's fate no matter what...I could stress and worry about my girl friend till I'm blue in the face, but that won't make a difference. I have to recognize that I'm not a body guard, and I'm absolutely not her...so what do I do? I have to learn to respect her privacy and trust that nothing will happen and that she will never betray me. Sure maybe I have trust issues, but it's because I lack the confidence to believe I'm good enough for her...but NO that's not how I should think, I should be thinking, how I'm enough for her and on top of that, how can I make myself standout EVEN more. She chose me because she saw something in me and she believed I was worth it so now my true responsibility is to live up to being the man she admired, not tracking her, not stalking her, not yelling and complaining about all the things I wish she didn't do...no...my duty is to be the man she saw and loved when we met.In the end, it's a matter of perspective and I both feel sorry that your ex continues to pursue you and I also hope you understand a little more from his stand point as well, because while it may not change your decision to go back, it will surely help you to understand why he behaves the way he is.

OMG don't go back or give him even a hint of hope of getting back together. You sound really patient to have put up with that type of irrational behavior for so long.
Just stay firm that's the best way to get the message across. In worst case scenario get a restraining order. Possessive behavior like you described is a really good sign that he might have a personality disorder- huge red flag!

Brandon, he's having the same realizations cause he said the same things to me. i get that. in fact, thats what ive been telling myself just to be able to understand him. but what about me?did he ever try to understand me? because for so many chances i've given, i felt no changes with the way he treated me. i never wanted any of these to happen really, i mean, i acknowledge all the great things he did for me. and its sad and im so sorry to think that its a little too late now for another try. i know i've given more than enough chances. im not a superhuman, i believe i have the right to feel exhausted too. and i feel that there is no growth anymore. i want him to stand on his own and make him realize that he doesn't need me for him to be able to go on with his life.

You did the right thing in breaking it off. He is broken and you cannot fix him. You are not qualified to try and fix him. The only behavior you can control is your own. Remember that. Let this relationship be a learning tool for you. Next time you will see the signs of possessiveness at the gate rather then half way threw the relationship. Good for you!. You love yourself enough to be sickened by his behavior rather then relish in is as some girls do. You are awesome and I hope your post can help some other girls in the same situation to realize that they need to end their relationship b4 it goes too far.

justcurious - go to the groups section of this site, go to the Dating and Relationships group - page 2- Read the post called Signs of an Abuser. What are your thoughts on this?? I dont know about you but I see red flags galore...

Is Brandon your ex?

No I'm not her ex haha don't worry and my relationship is fixed because I fixed myself so now I've been feeling back to normal. Anywho, I am glad you did decide to take the break because you're absolutely right, your ex needs to be on his own to learn how to deal with times like this because I guarantee that he will continue to have more and more of these situations until he realizes his faults and like you said, you're not superhuman *although I don't know a superhuman that doesn't get exhausted or irritated...I think that's impossible to avoid* but you're right, there is a limit to what everyone can take and you met your limit. Find a guy that will treat you the way you want to be treated, with the chance your ex will fix himself, then good for him, but don't credit him till he can prove it. Sorry if I originally came across like I was your ex and that I didn't care about your situation, but what I was trying to get at was that his problems are a lot deeper than the surface problems because I know what it's like. I do want you to know that I support your decision and that I hope you will also learn from this and try to avoid guys who portray the same behavior/habits because everyone deserves to be treated with respect and not like property. That being said, forgive my inability to initially help you, but I hope I cleared some things up.