How to handle dependance?

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Hey. I am 16 years old, female. I’ve been struggle with dependance issues since I’m young. I glue to people and I become an hassle as dependance grows. Sometimes I get obsessive. I live and breathe for those individuals. I wait patiently that they come home so that I can talk to them, and I text them several times during the day. When things get ugly, they are asking me to just leave them alone.
How can I control my needy mood?

Category: Tags: asked May 18, 2014

4 Answers

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I think you just need to find yourself. let them have their space when they need to. be comfortable with just being by yourself. There is no shortcut. start with the little things. one less text message.I don't know if that helped but I hope so :)
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If you didn't already, google attachment styles, find yours, that's a start. See where you identify.
In general, beside working on your unresolved issues, the answer lies with getting your life going, having things and other people in your life that make the people you get attached to only a part of your life, having places to go so you don't sit around a phone or a computer, having personal goals that give you things to concentrate on, preventing you from living only in the orbit of someone else. In some cases, it's also a matter of realizing that you tend to pick and attach to a certain kind of people, so you also can look for the signs of what's going to happen, and "nip it in the bud". But it's a long road, and you start with researching the name of what you have, articles on it, and so on.
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i see this happen to many people at my school. I think first off you should try and find the root to your behaviour, spend some time alone and really think (even write) about what you do and why you think you do it. With your results you should then start working on them, for example if its low self confidence you need to build it- its very hard and stressful to do but it is completely worth it as life is more fulfilled and more of a breeze when you exuthe confidence. Or if its no sense of direction, you need to create goals things you want to do, want to see, that seperate you from the people you are so dependent on then you will start seeing your own value and individuality and be more dependent on yourself rather than those around you.
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This is so my old-me. How i got over it? Well, you need to know that it takes only YOU to be happy. YOU is enough. You srsly dont need anyone, for starters. Excess of anything is not right: Caring much for example. Try to give people space and try to stop yourself when you text them for those tiny little things. Indulge in other activities so your time would pass without even you knowing. Sitting idle is only gonna end up in you going to someone which we dont want. Remember taht this is your life and you need to take charge. In the end, all theses friends would just leave you obviously, one day they will. and in this world every man's for himself. Raise your head high. Youre the driver, not the passenger and in the end, whatever you get and not get is of your doing, not anybody else's. :)