I don’t treat my family that bad. I try and make time for them when I am not overloaded with responsibilities and work.
My mom can’t seem to stop talking about how terrible I am. She tells me that, socially, I “don’t have a clue.” I am “awkward.” I “don’t have any real friendships.” That I need to start “trying.” That I am a “disappointment and a nasty slob.” I am an “ungrateful piece of shit.” She then proceeds to complain about how terribly I treat her and how I always try and shut her out. I would love to have a good relationship with her, but I literally cannot remember the last positive conversation we had.
My dad always texts me and asks me how I acted on a given day. He is gone most of the time, but he is always kept informed of my insufficiencies.
My (younger) sister is constantly throwing mean comments at me. Not the normal “I hate you because you’re my sister” kind of comments. They are more like “I hate you because you are an asshole and you never do anything right” kind of comments. I normally just ignore her but I’m starting to slip over the edge.
My (also younger) brother is so sweet. He always wants me to spend more time with him. When I tell him that I can’t because I have a crazy amount of work that needs to get done, however, he suddenly hates me and tries to hurt me. (He can’t, though. He has no muscle.)
Going to school has become something I look forward to more than anything. There are actually people there who I love and trust and classes that I enjoy. It is a place that I don’t have to face my family or pick up my phone when they call to criticize me for some dumbass move I probably made.
How can I get over being such a disappointment and be a better family member? How can I be good enough for them?