How to get my parents to understand and stop acting like kicked puppies?

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So, all my parents want is for me to “Talk to us, don’t lie. Just tell us what you’re doing on the computer. You shouldn’t have to hide anything from us. Just tell us what’s going on, you won’t get in trouble, we’ll understand.”
Yeah, right.
Because every time I do do these things, actually talk to my parents like we’re a family- they do the opposite of understand and then they make it about them.

“I don’t understand why you’re so stress honey. I feel like a horrible parent because I can’t help you. (um, try just listening. That helps.) I hate it when you make me feel like the bad guy, it makes me want to cry every morning. (makes me want to cry too.) You know, when I was your age I was lucky to get through the day without being beat. You have wonderful parents who love you.”

Gee, thanks, that really makes me feel better.

So I tell my mom that I am pansexual and that I have romantic feelings for my best friend. My mom says “You don’t know what you’re talking about, she’s just a good friend and you wouldn’t know the difference.”

You say you feel bad cause you think you can’t help me?! All I want is some support here! BELIEVE IN ME LIKE YOU SAY YOU DO!

I tell them that the thought of suicide crossed my mind a few months ago.
They make it about them again. And then I feel like I just kicked a puppy.

All I want is their support, and they say I have it, but then they act in such a way that makes me think I can’t tell them anything without them being condescending of me. And then they get after me for NOT telling them things?!

What do I do?

Category: Tags: asked March 9, 2014

3 Answers

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You need to sit your parents down and tell them that you appreciate their efforts to reach out to you, but they're not quite getting themselves out of the picture long enough to identify with what you're going through.

Tell them that you think it would be in the best interest of everyone to go to a family counselor. You can talk to that counselor individually and confide in him or her how your family tends to make everything about themselves, and how their morals are getting in the way of understanding your life because you don't live by all of their morals.

Your parents really seem to want to help, they just need the words of one of their own peers to really break through the ice and hit home. As it is, they're trying to talk to you, but you're still their baby, so they don't afford you the credibility that you should have in such a serious conversation, so let your words be filtered through the mouth of a professional, and they should get it.

Good luck, and please come back if there is anything else you ever need to get off your chest.
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your parents need an interevention. theres a lot of miscommunication going on it seems, so you may consider sitting down with em and being like look youre not listening to me. dont like yell or anything, just be firm and honest. good luck! parents are with ya forever, so they might as well be your best friends :*
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I think most parents live in their own little worlds and own little decades, where they mentally can not understand what their children are going through. And then they don't want you to be mad at them so they resort to comments where you'll pity them and drop the subject. Actually, that might just be a 'people' thing not necessarily a parent thing.Lots of children can't connect with their parents, because they know what's right and blah, blah. If you have legitimate feelings, and in your heart you know your sexuality, then you are validated. You don't need your parents approval. They do love you, but they 'just don't get it.' They can't get it.Love them in return, but know that you won't get them and they won't get you. Maybe one day they will, but for now just stay strong. Follow your heart. Rely on the words and advice from people that 'get you', because they've probably gone through the same situations.