how to get closure

1

please bear with me..My bf of 1.5 years and i were considering marriage and our parents knew and all.. but the last 4 months we were constantly fighting and he used to abuse me and my family verbally.. i was still willing to work it out..his mom asked me what was the problem and I trusted her and told her the truth .. also about my deporession and everything .. but she turned against me saying that why shud her son marry a psychiatry patient etc.. still we worked it out.. and after we got back together he wanted my folks to meet his folks and set a date.. I explained that we have just gotten back together after a troubled time and i need a couple of weeks .. also since my mom was in mourning since her father had passed away suddenly a month earlier.. I asked him to gv us a couple of weeks.
But he refused and his family were visiting my hometown. At the time I cudnt come home and i explained and begged to him to understand. My parents invited his folks but they didnt respond. and then without even informing me he told people that we have broken up and got bethroted to aanother girl..I begged him, apologised but he blamed me completely for the failure of the relationship.. then went telling our common friend about how i was a depression patient and that I wasnt as rich as he was..and that he didnt need me.. but all this while i never harassed him or abused his family.It really hurt me.. all this was 6 months back..he is getting officially engaged in 2 weeks and it breaks my heart.. It gives me this unbelieveable sadness.. and sometimes i end up feeling its all my fault and that i shud have worked harder.. i dunno what to do..im worried that im a failure and that i will never find love cos i loved my ex..i cant open myself like that to anyone else.. even 6 months later i cry alone in the darkness.. he ws kinda like my one of my closest friends.. i told him everything and no matter hw much he verbally abused me i always went back to him
what shud i do.. was i wrong to have asked him time ? or shudnt i hv told his mum abt my depression?

asked December 3, 2014

3 Answers

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Hes not good for you. No, you didnt do anything wrong. Hes simply just a douche and his family are assholes. Just give it time. It wasnt your fault. Youll find someone much better, i guarantee it
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You didn't do anything wrong, darling. It was not your fault. Not a single thing you did. You are a victim of abuse, and he is the perpetrator. I understand you still feel deeply attached to him, as he was the closest person you had for a relatively long time, and you were in love with him? That's okay. That's perfectly normal :) people love people, even if they treat them badly. He treated you so, so wrong. You are lucky to have gotten out of that relationship. You feel unhappy now, I know - but this will pass. Be strong. Find things that make you happy, surround yourself with good people who make you smile. Keep getting treatment for depression and NEVER feel ashamed of it. You're a good person, and you deserve happiness.
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Hi @marzifan and others.. thank you guys.. i know u guys r right but i have relapsed and keep crying the whole day since a day... im scared and worried and i have this strong urge to call my ex bf and talk to him.. but i know it will hurt me more.. i dunno what to do..im trying everything.. even my mum's worried abt me..pls can u guys help?