i don’t even know how to ask this but the situation is. I’ve took lots of depression tests online and each one of resulted to high depression or something. as of now, i have a big problem, i don’t even know how to face it, i’m so scared and so ashamed of myself. i feel like nobody would suffice to make me feel that everything is okay. since i entered college, i faced my problems on my own. i was forced to study in the city with only our helper with me, or occasionally all by myself. i feel like its me against the world. its as if life sucks and so full of nonsense when i’m having problems. i’m scared to disappoint my family but when every time i make mistakes its as if i just want to vanish in the face of the planet. I’ve tried to commit suicide a couple of times before. usually, i don’t want to talk to anyone but i want someone to understand me as i am even without saying a word. now, currently, i just want to go somewhere and disappear there.