How to deal with holiday social anxiety

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I’m getting to the state of hating holidays because of how anxious I get because of them.
- I always think that I must do something in the holiday because that’s what all people seem to do ( travel to a cool place, travel to family or gather with friends.
- I get invited to social gatherings where I don’t know lots of people and I have to meet lots of people who I don’t know and be able to socialize and this gets me really anxious.
So the result is always either go to a gathering and be anxious and not enjoy my time or stay at home and not being able to relax because I blame myself for not doing something cool.
Do you guys have any advice on how to handle such situations ?

Category: Tags: asked November 26, 2014

5 Answers

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One thing you can do to ease it is to be ready to leave when it's enough for you, this way you can both go to the events and get out before it becomes a problem, be it 10 minutes if you have to challenge yourself to go or 1 hour if you start feeling out of place. I seem to remember it was paired with getting there a bit early (if it's not unpolite) so there's less people and you can more easily approach some of them, (but not necessarily staying with them all the party). 'Goodbye to shy' has these tips and a few more pre-social gatherings exercises if you want to look into it.
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I agree with rinseandrep. I would also say that you shouldn't worry so much about going to holiday gatherings just because you feel obligated or like you won't be cool if you don't go. If you think you'll feel better if you skip out on the holiday parties, then you should skip them. You're supposed to do things that make you feel good on the holidays, too. And your friends probably won't fault you if you tell them you're feeling tired or overwhelmed.
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oh my goodness, i share your exact same feelings. in addition, i work at a very well known coffee company (lets call it shmarshmucks) that THRIVES on the holidays. which means LOTS of long hours and people being extra cranky and making me feel awful because we dont have exactly what they want when they want it or whatever the reason. this on top of what i already feel about the holidays.what i do, is not force myself into anything i dont want to do. if i must go to a holiday gathering, i try to prepare myself mentally for it, and only plan to stay a little bit. that way, if i end up actually having fun, i know that im not forcing myself, i want to be there.if someone tells me that im being a scrooge, i try to explain as best as i can about my stress. if they tell me that im ridiculous, i just remind myself that that is a person im probably good without anyway.last of all, i remind myself that its not forever. good luck <3
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Thanks so much for your answers @Whatflowersareatmyfeet: does explaining your stress and anxiety helps, I always try to hide that and pretend to be someone I'm not just to look good. Only recently I started trying to say what goes on my head like just say that I'm stressed or anxious and I don't actually feel bad about that. Does that help you in general and do people simply accept it nicely ( not everyone off course )
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Yeah-- generally people have been pretty accepting when I cancel on them because I'm feeling anxious, stressed out, or overwhelmed.