How to deal with an impulsive best friend when it is ruining my relationship with another friend?


So I go to a professional graduate school, it is high stress as in we are in Med School. Very stressful as it is haha. My best friend in the program, has ADHD and can be very impulsive which isn’t a bad thing because she does understand the material and can make a good study buddy.However, where relationships are concerned it can be bad. When we were all getting to know each other she hooked up with a guy I was getting close with, we’ll call him Alan. Her and Alan ended up not working out and now they hate each other. She expected me to stop talking to him as well but we sit next to each other in class and had always gotten along even before they hooked up. She then started talking to a married man in our class. That didn’t work out so they stopped talking. This was all within one month of each other and she made it a point to talk to me about my loyalty to her. I thought that it would be over in the guy department but now she’s hooking up with our mutual friend, Brad. While she’s flirting with another one of her friends John. This is all so silly but i’m kind of irritated because now if things don’t go well with either of them, especially my good friend Brad it is going to ruin our dynamics and i’m going to get another talk about loyalty. How do I deal with an impulsive friend when it is ruining my relationship with another friend?

Category: Tags: asked February 3, 2015

2 Answers

wow that is some situation and what i believe you should do is to step up to her. If she gives you talks about loyalty you should fire back about her decision making and how her decisions are affecting you and your friendships to others. Also you guys need to sit down and talk it out and see if you can find a solution to your problem. I really hope this helped you at all, good luck.
Tell her simply that you do not intend to stop speaking with any person whom she decides to cut bridges with in your school, and that her concept of loyalty is smothering. It's bad for networking, it's bad for studies, etc.
It's up to you to decide if you want to keep being best friends at this cost.

That said, the exception is that you should probably agree to not speak with someone who hurt her badly, from your description of events it didn't seem like it, but if she tells you someone treated her in terrible ways, even in your class, it would be inopportune to keep being friends of both people.