How to deal with a clingy girlfriend?

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I’ve know my girlfriend for two years now. We’ve just recently started dating (both girls, but she claims to be straight). I honestly never knew what I was getting into. We’ve discussed her jealousy and clingyness, but she just doesn’t seem to care to change. I have to constantly be talking to her and if i don’t read her text right away she’ll freak out and ask where I went and what I’m doing. I’m just not sure howto handle the situation.

I’ve told her I’ve thought of breaking up, and she cried a lot. She constantly tells me that she wouldn’t be able to live without me, and with depression in her past I guess I’m scared to. I care for her. But i just don’t know how to handle any of this. Has anybody been through something similar? Is there anyway I can deal with this without hurting her feelings?

Category: Tags: asked July 14, 2014

3 Answers

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She sounds like she has an anxious attachment type that she needs to work on. Discuss change and how she can deal with it and with who's help, but ask yourself how long would you stay in this relationship if things stay like this.
For the breakup, no, no magical way out.
She will manage to live without you and maybe it will be good for her to take some time for herself, but even if she doesn't, it's not your responsibility to stay in a relationship you don't like for your partners benefit. If you want to warn her friends and family (or therapist) around the breakup so she has their support, you can do that. Given that she might use her problems to keep you with her, you should also talk with them and/or call 911 if she tells you anything about putting herself in danger, but that's the worst case scenario. Still, you know what to do if it happens.
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I have been to something similar. It can be hard for you to deal with her clingy nature but don't give up on her. There's got to be some reason why she is clingy? Has she always been like that? Is she insecure,if yes, why? Try to find that or ask her directly. May be life experiences have made her possessive, she had depressions. Just assure her that you love and value her very much and want to spend quality time with her but sometimes due to certain reasons you can't be with her every time or may not be able to reply the text instantly. I think she will automatically give you more space once she is convicted that you love and care for her truly. Be kind to her, try to put yourself in her in your shoes and do everything you can to make the relationship work but remember relationship is a two way thing. If she does not change despite of your efforts, you have to let her go. Good luck :).
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I have a short reply, but a good advice: RUN! You don't need sick relationships, find someone else who's idiosyncrasies are compatible with yours!