How to cope with the festive season when you feel isolated?


Hi guys, I’m 24 and female, I have Type I Bipolar Disorder, social anxiety and have basically been a hermit for the last year, after moving home to my parents.

I used to be very social, motivated and independent – I miss this version of me, so much!

I’m dreading spending Christmas Day with my step-dad’s family, I hardly know them and I’m not allowed to drink due to my medications. I can’t stay with my dad’s family this Christmas because they are a 5 hour drive away and my mental health has been playing up recently. Dad doesn’t quite get the “mental illness” thing.

New Year’s is going to be even worse. I don’t have friends, honestly, bar three people I see sometimes that I met through a guy I was (am?) dating. Who I’m totally falling in love with, but who moved to the other side of the country after a month and who I visited in November.
I don’t want to be sad, alone and missing human contact on NYE. I want to party on a beach, make memories and go camping!

Anyway, any thoughts on how to conquer the misery of loneliness and soberness for the festive season?

Category: Tags: asked December 18, 2014

2 Answers

You might want to consider putting yourself out there more. Do the tings you love, join classes and clubs and groups doing the things that you love. There you will meet other people that have simaler interests to you and it is just easier to talk to them that way. But looking at just this holiday season, when you go to your step dads make an effort to talk to people, get to know them. There are also a lot of really awesome volunteer things you could be doing around this time of year. Again its a cool place to meet people and make friends. Plus you don't feel as if you are wasting your time because you are doing something good. It is also easier to get up and do this because you will be helping people.
Hi euphie_x, I'm not going to pretend that I know exactly what you are going through. However, I can tell you that you are not alone in your "problem". I put "problem" in quotations because honestly, I believe that it's ultimately up to you to make this a problem or an incentive to beat this. The fact that you don't really know your step-dad's family is not going to go well with your social anxiety as that will greatly increase it. I can give you suggestions. Some clichés: I always listen to music, play music (guitar & piano) and sing when I'm feeling down. Maybe you can even go for a run to calm yourself. There's no one that you are close to where you're at? If you don't have any friends at where you live, why don't you get to know some of your step-dad's family before the Christmas and New Years Eve? Maybe ask your step-dad to go to lunch with one of his nephews or nieces or somebody that is his family (and that will be at the get-togethers) but only with one maybe two, at the most three people. I suggest keeping the group small as it will lessen your social anxiety. The reason being is that over this lunch or time that you guys hang out, you'll get to know this person (or people) that way when Christmas rolls around you will know somebody that will be at the get-together (besides your step-dad). This will battle the social anxiety as you will at least know somebody and will not be a stranger to EVERYBODY. Then hopefully you'll get to know more people at the Christmas get-together (and those you know will introduce you to others) so that by the time New Years Eve rolls around you'll be way more comfortable in that crowd. I hope I didn't sound to harsh. I believe that you can get through this with some relaxation and trust in others. - J. C&D