How to control jealousy issues?

Ever since my last relationship – which ended nasty after I found out my partner was sleeping around with his employees and a new people who I thought were my friends. I have been in a new relationship for over a year, and can’t seem to shake my freaky jealousy and trust issues….sometimes over NOTHING. We could be watching a TV show where someone cheats on someone and it makes me upset. This person has no reason to not be trusted, yet I still can’t seem to shake the horrors of being cheated on. How do you control these feelings? These feelings are embarrassing so I try to keep them to myself so I don’t look like a crazy person, but they just continue to build up.

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Just a Girl

3 Answers

I personally don't have those issues but my boyfriend definitely does. He's told me with all his relationships he has been cheated on, granted though he was the one dating the 'easy girls' in high school but nevertheless it still effected him. He has a lot of jealousy and trust issues but we worked through him. He knows I wouldn't cheat on him no matter what, so you really need to start trusting your boyfriend, it's not fair to him if you are scrutinizing and accusing him when he's done nothing wrong. Relationships are based on trust, not on your past with other people but the trust between the person you are presently dating. Don't bring up past skeletons and assume it's going to happen to you because it isn't. Save yourself from the doubt, and worry and just enjoy the relationship that you do have. Just think about it, is it going to be worth the worry and panic when there isn't anything to worry about in the first place? Plus he's going to think you don't trust him at all which isn't right. So just trust him, let your worries sink away and enjoy what you have.

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bricheese

3,768

I do not have much experience with these things; jealousy and cheating, but as with everything in life: the only way to get into good things out of bad things is to talk about it. In this case, the natural choice is to talk to your partner. Jealousy is a kind of crazy I suppose, as it often arises from irrationality and unfounded suspicions, but it is also fundamentally human, as we want to protect what is ours, and also our feelings in the same go.

So, talk to your significant other. Learn to either conquer your jealousy or live with it. Either way, your partner is the biggest piece of the puzzle, seeing as you most likely would not be jealous if you were single. To me it also seems very good that you are aware that you have no real reason to be jealous; this means you can handle it in time, and with the help of your love :-)

Good luck! - Ghini

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JonasBG

612

i am in the exact same place as you.things have got so bad my partner almost finished with me when we are booked to get married next year.i do love him so much and i know he loves me and somewhere deep in my heart i know that he will not cheat or do anything to hurt me which is how we have ended up so far into a relationship but i do not want this to affect us any further.have you found any ways to overcome this jealousy, insecurity and lack of trust?

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Suz