How to come out as trans*


I have recently come out to myself as Trans*, but my family is full of bible-thumpers. My uncle and aunt are pretty trans-phobic, and were dissing Caitlyn J. and Jazz Jennings. When I tried to stand up for them, my mom shut me down and said “Oh, don’t get her started,”. Then I tried coming out to my “best friend” and she just made a joke, completely ignoring my discomfort, then came crying to me later because her crush didn’t want to talk to her. I don’t know what to do, and I can’t talk to any adults because all of the ones I thought I trusted all have my father’s phone number, and all the counselors and teachers at my school call the parents. I’m scared…

Category: Tags: asked October 1, 2015

2 Answers

I'm in the same boat right now, honestly. Being transgender and stuck in a transphobic environment is a really difficult situation. Which is why I'm waiting until I'm 18 to come out to everyone in case I need to get out of the house. I know it's not an ideal plan, but sometimes waiting is for the best when it comes to your own safety and emotional state. Though living in the dark, not being able to be yourself is tough enough, it can be even harder living with those who judge you and go against who you are. If you aren't keen on waiting any longer, you could try coming out by writing a letter, that way you don't have to be face-to-face when you do it. Even if you wait, you could still do it that way. Mention things like, this is who you are, and whether or not they accept it, it doesn't change anything; you can't change who you are on the inside. I truly hope that everything works out for the best, and if you ever need someone to talk to about this stuff, you can always come to me. Good luck.
I'm not sure how serious you are about your gender identity, such as with me, I'm just sticking to the grey area, but I identify as my birth gender for simplicity. Don't push things. Wait as long as you can. I get it, it hurts really bad, I feel you there, but you have to understand that some people have other morals and avoiding transgendered people is one of them. You need to respect them no matter what. When and if you do come out to them, keep your cool. Don't cry, don't yell, just take their opinions and BE FLEXIBLE. Don't try to change their opinions, just kind of be like "okay, whatever." I don't know you, and I don't know your story and your seriousness of your situation, but good luck.