How to Become Productive Again

0

February 11, 2014, my father passed away. He battled esophageal cancer since October of the previous year, and from that point on, declined slowly. In hindsight it was so fast. There is so much regret from not asking him questions or learning more about him. I have PTSD from being his second care-taker. The other was my mother. We changed bandages, saw and heard things that nobody should have to hear, let alone from a father or husband. I know many people are going through this or have gone through this, and I just want to know how you coped. I randomly break down and cry at work, I can hardly bear to use his tools for projects around the house (I can’t buy new ones because I need the money for gas and college), I repeatedly make some of the stupidest mistakes I’ve ever seen, I have flashbacks, random beeps in everyday life remind me of the pumps he was hooked up to, and I feel like a burden. It is as though I’m just one big screw up, and I don’t know how to cope with these feelings, the fear, the emotional pain, and the hatred. I feel as though there’s been enough time for these things to subside, but if anything, they’ve gotten worse. I don’t want to go to therapy because they don’t understand MY grief, MY methods of coping (whether ineffective or lacking), and what I went through. I just need to know how to get myself through this and get back on track as quickly as possible.

Tags: asked July 2, 2014

3 Answers

0
First and foremost, get a therapist. You may say that they don't understand you, but they are your best bet at recovering right now. So get a therapist. I know that they don't understand you, but you need them, as they can help you. Everyone is an individual, and that includes the therapists. Some are bad, and some are good. You need to test them to see which one's right for you. Okay, you can get through this, but not without assessing yourself. Realistically assess yourself of what happened when you were his care-taker. Don't blame yourself. Just think, was it actually your fault, did you place burden on your dad, or did he make this decision himself? We get influenced by people, but in the end, it's our own choices of what to make. God gave us freewill, we may be influenced by people, that is true, but in the end we make the decisions, not them. Your dad may be influenced by people, but in the end, he makes the decisions. Assess the past realistically, not tear-hearted, or you will end up back in square one. You need a therapist, this alone won't work.
0
Not sure of any other therapists. The one referenced was a Hospice therapist whose specialty is supposed to be for care-givers. I just want to be self-sufficient, and not rely on anyone else for my healing because I'm stubborn.
0
That is a very bad idea. Face it sometimes you need help. You can get through life without atleast some help. Find a therapist online and either chat online or pay that one to come or travel, trust me it's a very bad idea not to find a therapist you WILL end up back to SQUARE 1.