I am twenty years old and have become sexually active within the last year With my serious boyfriend. I am from a Christian family and I can honestly say my mother did not raise me to believe sex of any sort was ok. My first knowledge of sex was when my parents got divorced when I was young because my mother cheated, and my mother forced me into counseling and told my counselor I was a freak in front of me when she read my Internet history and saw I was researching sex on the Internet because she and my father never talked to me about it and I didn’t feel safe asking her, but I wanted to know what this thing wad that had broken up my family.
I am still religious, but never believed I would wait till marriage because I dont really see myself getting married any time soon. I love my boyfriend, and I am glad my first time was with Him because he was patient and kind and never pushed me. I love him, and I think I might want to spend my life with him, but I still sometimes feel negative about sex. I am so afraid of pregnancy that I someone’s make myself sick,even though I am on birth control and we use condoms, and I’ve made great strides in feeling more comfortable with that, so I am motivated to fix this as well.
I am taking a psychology class on sex to try and fix my fear of sex, but I am constantly uncomfortable in that class. I have never really trusted men, I thought they were all dogs, but I don’t feel that way about my boyfriend and always feel comfortable and happy when we do have intercourse, but after my class and at random times during the day sometimes when I’m alone with my thoughts I feel like sex is something to be ashamed of and i feel anxious.
I think my anxiety comes from being from a family that treated sex as a taboo, and a disgusting thing, but I don’t know how to fix that.
how can I get over my fear of sex?
Does anyone have any advice or motivational stories they can share to help me with this? I don’t have many people in my life who I feel comfortable talking to about this.