How to approach someone I am interested in?


I just want to start off by saying thank you to anyone who reads and replies to this post. I am 24 and seriously lacking in the relationship department. I’ve gone on a few dates before but nothing serious has ever come from them. Frankly, I’m getting tired of it!

There is a man I am interested in who is a student teachers in one of my classes at my university (let me add in that he is not an authority figure; he is a regular undergraduate like me). In fact, I am a year older than him. I’m attracted to him and interested in getting to know him but I am completely stumped on how to carry out this further. I see him 3 times per week in class but the issue is that he is always up at the front of the room with the teacher so I can’t initiate conversation with him often. We both enter the room and exit the room at different times so I can’t exactly nonchalantly start a conversation with him before or after class. He and the teacher often get bombarded by students who have questions for them!

Yesterday, however, I went to his office hours for “help” (which I honestly didn’t need) and he answered my questions in all of 5 minutes and we then continued to have a conversation about other things for 40 minutes after that until someone interrupted and then I left. Unfortunately, I technically have class during his office hours but I got lucky yesterday and my teacher cancelled class. What are other ways I could try and befriend him or gage to see if he is maybe interested too? I don’t want to lie and say I need more help when everything is pretty straight forward and I don’t have any legitimate questions. He WOULD be willing to schedule other time for his “office hours” if I can’t make his usual one but I feel bad when I don’t really need the help.

I’m frustrated with being lonely and I’m almost tempted to just walk up to him and give him my number without any context or him even asking! But that seems like a stupid and embarrassing move.

I’m not afraid to talk to him but the main problem is I’m not sure when to do so. I NEVER see him around campus so I can’t “accidentally” bump into him either.

Please offer any advice :)

Category: Tags: asked October 22, 2014

4 Answers

If he is a TA (Teaching Assistant), and has those office hours for help, it is very possible you can have great access to his email address. Start by emailing him a few questions about assignments or having him edit a paper or two for you, when you can't make the office hours. After a few emails, establish more of a friendship with him through email maybe? It can get touchy through that academic system though, so try to just get to know him as well as you can in a friendly way before putting any moves on him.
Well, the easiest (and most sure-fire) way to do it, is just be straightforward. Be right on. It goes right, or it goes wrong. I find that the best way to prepare for confessions or things like these is just to prepare yourself to be ready for the risk of a "sorry, I'm not interested in you like that" and not let it get in the way of taking a chance! Don't be afraid. I just confessed to a girl I've had a crush on for over a year and it turned out she's had a crush on me, too. It really can, and really does happen. If you're not afraid to talk to him, then use that. If I were you, I would just walk up to him and go "hey, do you have just a minute?" and be casual about it.
A little spy work may be called stalking.
Smile at him a lot. That is the easiest hint to catch for a guy. Try saying "hi" even when you are just entering the class. Little spying work and trying to get at the right place, right time is worth trying- I can't believe there is not even a short break when you can bump into him. You arranged one when there came an occasion, try arrange an occasion by yourself! If he seems fine with that, try other hints you got there. Go girl!