Hey there PinkyPromise,I do not know your age, but this may help anyone in a similar situation As lengthy and verbose as it may seem, please read through this is all i can say.The 'signs/experiences' you describe are familiar to me since I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder too and am on the way to betterment is all I can say. The importance of timely and appropriate medical intervention cannot be undermined. However, one cannot jump to a conclusion of being Bipolar or not without proper diagnoses from a professional.I understand there may be a lot of stigma attached to seeking help from a psychiatrist. i would suggest you pay a visit to your general physician first, thereafter you may be in a better position to decide on the course ahead, whatever it may be.As to the question "why am I this way', I was told and see that it is a fact that a lot of life situations, environmental factors along with the role play of our genes and many other innumerable factors may lead to a disorder...be it bipolar or a disease such as diabetes, hypertension, etc We treat fever, cough and cold routinely with pills and other remedies, this too is something like that. you are not the fever, cough or cold..it is a state. So is the bipolarity. With self awareness and consistent self initiatives towards changes in habits, routines, and anything that may be causing the extreme moods, it can be brought to a balance or a semblance of it. I personally detested medications, but over the time, learnt to weigh the pros and cons before i accepted them. Most importantly, if you are diagnosed with Bipolar, please make your doctor and alley in this recovery and not your enemy..ask as many questions, no matter how dumb you think they are...until you are ready to take the next step. One at a time. Baby steps are all you need. Try not to be overwhelmed by the 100s of thoughts crossing your mind at any point.Take someone very close to you into confidence, preferably a family member to walk with you through this process. Be absolutely frank about your situation with at least this one person, at all times, come what may.It helped me. Hopefully, it should help you too. Remember all you need is one step: 1. Confide in a trusted person who you can see, sit beside and talk to in person. who has known you thru' thick and thin. 2. Consult your general physician, ask for an opinion. Request for specific reasons as to why your fears are confirmed or if otherwise, why not 3. If required, take a referral from your physician to see a psychiatrist, it cn be done as discretely as you want. Please ask your confidate to accompany you. 4 Ask questions ,clear all doubts, express your anger, fear and frustrations to your doc. The person is there to be an alley with you through this phase, not a foe. Trust but not blindly. Consider your confidante's opinion too. 5. weigh pros and cons and then take steps towards therapy and meds with full discussion with doctor. Sometimes, just therapy will suffice. 6. whatever, you are advised to do, do so religiously and consistently, you will see better days, for Sure!its a phase, however traumatic it seems, it will pass, you should just say 'Next phase please' : )Hope this helps! You take care.I appreciate you coming out and asking for suggestions!, Kudos to you. I was Shelled at that time. You are way better. So please, don't get flustered about the current situation, you can handle it. Love
