How long is too long to stay in a long distance relationship?


My SO and I have been dating almost a year and a half and everything is going well. Originally, we planned to be living in the same area (not living together yet) by the Summer of this year. Plans have changed, and we have no definite timeline for when we’ll be in the same area. I don’t want to break up with them, but the plan was always for them to move to where I am, and I don’t want to give up the area I love, even though I love them, but think I might have to so we aren’t long distance forever. My question is: How long do I wait before I say enough is enough and move to them, or decide on a new area together? Should I just wait for us to live here?

Category: Tags: asked April 25, 2015

1 Answer


If you really, really love this person and would do almost anything to be with them, then do almost anything to be with them. People and relationships move and change, but the place you love isn't going anywhere. If you want to nurture the relationship, then you need to put yourself in a position to do that.

I have been in a similar situation. For 12 years. If you love each other and are willing to do the work and make the sacrifices to make it work, then it will work.

Just be sure that this person would be willing to do the same to be with you. Of course life is life and plans do change as situations come up and whatnot, so in that regard we do have to be a bit flexible. As long as this person isn't just making excuses and there is a reasonable explanation for why the plan changed, then consider changing your plan too.