How I’m feeling right now

1

I lost my mom years ago and I’ll never get over it. She was my mom and no one can tell me how to deal with my grief. It’s mine, not yours. Also, My grandma passed away 2 months ago and she was like a second mom to me. Holidays are going to be so hard this year :’(

I barely have friends and I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I mean, how can people not have friends? That sounds lonely. Don’t they get lonely?

On a positive note (I try to be positive, even though it feels useless), I have a supportive boyfriend and we are planning to marry next year. Would I be happy by then? I hope so, but my mom and my grandma won’t be here with me. How sad

I guess I’m feeling down and I don’t know what I’m looking for. Maybe some advice to cheer me up or something like that

Category: asked August 9, 2014

5 Answers

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I really don't get the answer of Ben Anthony. I really don't. This site is for support for everyone, for every problem! Ben Anthony stop acting like such a douche bag.I can imagine how hard it is to get married when your mother and your grandma are not with you physically. BUT, i really do believe they are standing behind you when you're getting married. I think they would be sooo proud of you seeing you getting married. Hold on to love. Keep beautiful memories you've had with your mom and grandma with you. It will be hard, but I really do believe you will be happy at some point. You will be proud of yourself when you look back at the past.Friends can be supportive, but they also can bring you down.Your love might be your best friend. I think THAT's what really matters!
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First and foremost, ignore Ben Anthony. Your feelings are completely legitimate and loosing parental figures is difficult. Getting over their deaths does not mean forgetting- it means remembering the positive moments with them and being at peace. Whether or not you're spiritual does not matter because their memories will be with you during your wedding. Trust me, they will be there and they will be proud.

You're strong and people love you. Keep fighting and you will make it through. Wishing you all the best in the future!
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I agree with you when you say that no one can tell you how to grieve, and I am glad you know that. Really, don't listen to anyone who says to stupid things like "Some people have it worse." or all that crap. Who cares? This is your life, and you are sad, and these are your feelings that you have every right to have. And if you were sad because you lost your favorite teddy bear, it still wouldn't be right to tell you to stop feeling bad. These are your problems, and they're real. They are so painfully real, aren't they? It's going to take a lot of time for you to be able to say "They died, and that makes me sad, because I wish they were here. But it's going to be okay." You probably don't feel like that right now and you don't have to. Until then, you just have to take it day by day, one step at a time, slowly make peace with the grief. Look forward to your wedding, dream about the future and what's to come. Rely on those who love you, and a little bit on yourself too. Sadness is real, but relief is, too.
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Everyone's capacity for pain is different! You are not wrong for feeling terrible about the funk that you are in. I am SO terribly sorry to hear about your losses, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you. I want to encourage you to make certain that you are getting married for the right reasons and not just because you feel alone. I am in no way saying that you and your fiance are not a good fit. Just know that family and romance are two very different types of relationships and having one doesnt necessarily fill the void of the other. I also do not have a lot of friends and my family is far from perfect. I used to find myself trying to develop close relationships with my boyfriends in order to make up for what I was lacking. I thought that if i could join another happy family then all of my problems would be fixed. What I ended up finding out (25 years later and after every BF eventually dumped me) is that that i needed to develop a better and happier relationship with myself. I know it sounds cliche but it is so true. Other people cannot fully love and appreciate you if you do not absolutely love yourself. It is a struggle to get to this point, but once you do it makes dealing with the tough times that life throws at you easier because you are strong. My advice is to take up some hobbies if you don't already have some, excercise a little bit each day (this makes you feel a lot better), and really try to put yourself out there in order to meet new people and make friends. I know that last one is tough, particularly if you are more introverted. But sometimes taking risks and putting yourself out there can lead to great things! You will discover things about yourself that you never knew and you will most definitely gain more confidence! We can all use a little more of that these days. :)
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Just remember that you've survived the death of your mom so nothing else will ever be worse, you can now overcome anything.