How do you think of having relationship with a Japanese guy?

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Hey, I’m a male Japanese guy and was wondering if I can get along with girls or find a right girlfriend who is from another country out of Japan. I’m not sure I can find a girlfriend from another country because 1) I’m Japanese and I might be seen as less attractive because of my race, 2) I’m Japanese and I talk less when I have to talk in English. It’s no doubt difficult for me, 3) I’m less attractive as a man than any other attractive men in the world in general. I can’t figure out why girls seem to ‘avoid’ me and become less talkative. Is it common thing for girls when talking to boys? Well, I’ve never had a girlfriend before, and also I’ve never had so many friends that are male, either. I recently go to parties in Japan, where many foreign people come and talk, but I’m too shy to talk to new people. I just want to know if I Japanese can also have a girlfriend who is attractive and comes from another country. Any tips?

Category: asked September 23, 2014

4 Answers

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Well first off, I think you are amazing! I only wish I could put together two sentences in another language. Even though English is difficult for you, talking less is not a bad thing, you're doing a great job. This may just be my opinion, but I would have thought being Japanese would make you more attractive... I can't be the only one who thinks that. Even if you do not think you are attractive, relationships are not all about looks, personality counts too - Let people get to know you. Maybe you need help becoming part of the group at parties, do you have any friends at the moment who would go with you? If so perhaps they could help introduce you to people or something like that, this way you could talk to new people and hopefully meet nice girls.
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Hinaggik, from one Asian guy to another. I have this ALL laid out.

First off, yes, there are some girls that will find Asian men even more attractive. However, these are natural biases. These natural biases are NOT in our favor.

Often times, when it comes to "surface interest" asian men are not that attractive to foreign girls. However, this gives us very powerfully attractive options.

For one .. It gives them an expectation we can easily break.

Specifically, for asian men. Many of us are shy, humble, and respectful. People ARE curious about us, but are also taught that asian men are very intelligent.

Intelligence intimidates and scares people. It means, many lies won't work on us. It means when someone says something wrong, we'll most likely be able to point it out. Just like being muscular intimidates people by making them feel weak. Intelligence intimidates people by making them feel dumb.

However .. Allying yourself with people will make you enjoyable to people.

It's one thing to think "This person is smart, I should be cautious with what I say" and "My -friend- is smart! He's a good ally"

So the first thing is to come off as "friendly" or as an "ally". Unfortunately, this comes to the other problem asian men have. They're shy, but sometimes that comes off as "terse".

Being a "mystery" is kind of like asking people to walk through a door in the darkness. Like asking someone to go down a dark alley .. It's not safe.

Instead .. Stop being a mystery .. Speak your mind. Even if it's in japanese. Your tonality, and your body language accounts for a lot. Some people will even hang with people who don't speak their language based purely on their smile, their body language, and good vibes.

At parties, I didn't really like talking much either. A lot of people's topics are just kind of weak .. So I learned how to dance. I often go to parties and breakdance, which is a great way to meet people.

Include people in your life. Ally people. Make friends, by -being- a friend.

Find Love, by being worthy of Love.

Remember, if you never speak you will be "another asian guy". But by speaking, by making an impression, girls will think of you as "not like other asians" and people Love the unique pieces in others.

No one can Love someone without knowing them, so if no one ever knows you, you'll never be Loved.

P.S. You're Japanese. You should an awesome dancer : D
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Hey thanks for your reply, I really appreciate all of your comments. I've read all of them and each of the comments really helped to a certain point. I went to a party lately, and found male friends, but yet to find a girlfriend. In some points things got better, in some points not. With a friend it became easier for me to talk to new people, friends would introduce myself to others. It seemed still hard for me to talk to girls from other countries than Japan, but I can't figure out why… I apparently did nothing wrong, nothing bad on them. When I was to talk to a Japanese girl, then things get easier for me. We also went to a club, but I found myself I was too a bad dancer, and did not actually like the music they played…
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If you were coming in the city where I'm currently studying, you would become popular in less than thirty minutes. I've met lots of girls with this obsession over asian guys, so don't worry: there will be always a girl who looks at you, but maybe she is shy just like you, and this might be a big problem. You might never talk with each other because of your shyness.

I understand that you feel insecure especially towards foreigners, but you shouldn't put your shyness above you to avoid talking or to avoid talks from people. People will always talk, they will always have prejudices towards asians, or africans, or more, it's up to you to change their point of view. Who cares if you don't have an anglish accent, I personally think that each person who tries to learn and study a language (even if we're talking about english) and work really hard for it, it won't matter if he/she has a good accent: she/he's putting a lot of effort to talk, and this is enough. You already write a good english, so take a deep breath, look at the group you want to enjoy, hear a little what they're saying, and enter the conversation with your point of view.

It's not that the girls are avoiding you, but just like everyone, they prefer to chat with a talkative person, so be confident! Utada Hikaru managed to marry an italian, you can reach the same goal if you want. Good luck!