how do you make someone love you?

If your FWB treats you better than anyone you've ever known, but won't say he loves you, I think your standards for being treated well are really low. That is worth thinking about and I wonder why you've settled for this situation.The options you give are: "Love is crap" or "the dating world is crap". I don't really agree with either and these beliefs might be why you are in this situation.I second mongoose in saying do what you can to feel loveable and worthy of love. You can decide for yourself what that will mean to you. As the quickest advice I've found to always be effective is start a journal where you write about your feelings/thoughts/life and contribute to what you find good in this world (charity etc.).

I would say there is a balance. You will never meet the "perfect" guy, but then again, you shouldn't settle. Relationships are give and take. It sounds like he cares about you but maybe he doesn't love you the way you want him to. I would be up front and honest with him. Just communicate.

I hate the dating scene too, but it is better than settling.

There is no making someone love you... but you can be lovable and see what happens.

If you want someone to love you just be yourself.. And if they don't like you as yourself don't be anything that your not just to make someone like you. He isn't the one for you if he isn't interested in the whole package.. I mean besides just sex.. If a guy doesn't compliment you on the little things like how you flip your hair, how you smile, then he isn't worth it. Don't force yourself into a relationship with a guy just because you are friends with benefits. You need to realize that if he was perfectly okay with being friends with benefits and not dating then clearly he isn't interested in you for a relationship. you deserve better. Keep your head up <3

Thank you for the responses. I guess I really wasn't clear on the relationship because he has made it clear that he wants to build a future with me.. buy a house, retire, etc. just that he hasn't said the 'l' word.. why is that so important to me when he treats me like he does. He came home the other night and asked me for a bj, then apologized for not being respectful and honestly i know he felt really bad about it. He made it clear that he will never sleep with anyone else because he is sleeping with me, so I guess even though to me we are 'fwb' he is more committed than he wants to be. I am so female though, i want the words of love and the flowers and the romance. I guess my problem is: is it worth losing the one person in my life who has treated me like a lady that he cares for (even if he won't say it?)?

What appears to be the current problem is a lack of communication of needs. You want this guy to tell you he loves you, and the reasons why he won't do so are unclear. It is possible that he still feels some insecurity in his relationship with you, or perhaps he does not share your strong feelings. The big issue is that you need to communicate. Find a time where you can sit down and talk it out for a while. Find out what this guy's problem is. If he's struggling with commitment, then work on it and be patient with him. Committing can be very difficult for people who have trust issues, and, well, we end up with trust issues for a reason. Help him. If he doesn't truly love you and isn't sure, give him space and time, and remember that you don't honestly need to give him any of your time. You deserve someone who will enthusiastically be with you and will do what it takes. If he isn't willing to do that, my suggestion is that you find someone who will. I know it seems hard, but please know that while relationships can be hard work, that the only ones that are truly worth it are the ones that you can end up truly satisfied with. You have to ask yourself this question: are you willing to wait for an undefined amount of time (and this could be days, years, decades) for someone to tell you they love you? If not, I'd find someone who you can say yes to that question with.

Making someone fall in love with you is no easy task and takes a lot of time. There's no guarantee it will work, of course, but there ARE ways to plant the idea of love in his subconscious. Now, of course, manipulation is morally questionable at best. But I don't think there's any need to lecture you since so many people have done so already! :P The most important thing if you want to go this route is to NOT be upfront about your romantic interest in him. That does not mean you need to detach yourself from him, but forget about being blunt, open, honest, etc. If he doesn't already love you, that will only drive him away. The key is to be independent, make him see that you're doing your own thing and don't depend upon him. Most men are naturally attracted to women who appear low-maintenance. Mixed signals are also a very handy tool; often times, confusion can be mistaken for feelings of love, and once that idea is there, it is a matter of wether he finds you genuinely appealing (which I figure he must since you're sleeping together). There are plenty of other subtle things you can do as well. A little bit of research mixed with your best judgement should help you come up with more ways to show him that you are deserving of his love. The most important thing is to isolate him in these feelings; if he starts to show signs that he may be falling for you, it's important not to reciprocate them right away. Men love the thrill of the chase and the longer you deny him the comfort of knowing wether you love him back or not, the more he will want you. Again, this is something that takes time and is not true of everyone. Just relaying what psychology and experience have taught me!! :) Good luck!!!!