how do you force yourself to forget someone?


My best friend lights up my life and every time he texts me or we hang out i become engulfed in insane happiness for hours. The only problem is between hangouts or texts (sometimes up to three weeks for hangouts & 2 days for texts) i become completely unresponsive and depressed and i wait by my phone All day and beat myself up over the fact that he won’t answer. And it’s not like i text him a lot or ask him to hang out everyday. : p thing is i Hate sitting around all day and i Hate having my phone with me. I want to be out climbing the mountain or discovering deer, or anything that’s not sitting around. But i don’t get cell service on the mountain and i don’t really want to bring my phone anyways, but if i leave it home then i stress out about it. Maybe he texted me and I’m missing an opportunity to hang out, maybe he’s calling me right now to see if i can come help him build a shed or something. It destroys me till i finally flip and have to leave my adventure to go home and check my phone. I hate it, cause them i check it and he’s not said a word and then I’m just depressed by that and can’t get myself to go do anything cause I’m so depressed! Sigh, it’s awful. So i need to find out how to forget him, not obsess, not be so dependant on his joy. How in the world do i do that??

asked July 1, 2014

5 Answers

I do this also, you're not the only person that feels like this. But, if you're skipping out on doing things because it would get in the way of yours and his friendship or hangouts or whatever then I would suggest you leave your phone and go do your thing. It's almost like you've put your happiness in his hands (I'm not judging, I do the same) but find happiness in other things. Go climb that mountain or build a shed of your own. When he does text you and you don't respond for a lil while maybe it'll make him realize how bad he wants you to reply or how much he really wants to talk to you. I wish you the best of luck!
Sometimes I do this too.. the previous comment is absolutely right. Go do your thing, being around people you love is probably the best thing on our lives, but your happiness can't depend on others. Go find some activities to distract yourself while he don't talk to you, it will keep your mind occuppied and will help you to be more productive. Go do something that evolves meeting other people, it helps a lot too. I used to have this struggle a lot but then i started taking illustration classes because i love drawing. I met wonderful people there and also kept my mind busy, so i don't overthinked about how things should be and just kept going and observing how they actually are. Hope you get over it, good luck.
Definitely understand what you're going through hahaha I've been there.

Honestly, the only way to get out of this situation is to fall in love with something else! It sounds simple, and I know, it's DEFINITELY easier said than done. It'll be really difficult to just go out, so maybe plan it ahead. Text the the day before asking if he's free the following day. If he isn't, there's your day to go up in the mountains! With the knowledge that he's preoccupied with something else, you can go do your own thing.

Eventually this will become easier, trust me.

Oh, and if he happens to be free and CAN hang out, lucky you! Unless your intention is to distance yourself from him, then just do it. That'll be difficult and kinda mean though, if he doesn't know what's happening on your side.

In any case, all the best in your situation and if you need any more help just come back. This is why I love this community; it's ever-supportive and always here! :) GOOD LUCKKK
You don't have to forget him, you have to forget your cellphone. Me and my boyfriend try to only text to say "meet me at this place" or "do you want to do this today?". Try to change the way you think about your phone.. even if you can't meet often, it's better if you don't talk that much on the phone, so that when you meet you'll have a lot to say. Besides, don't you know other people who would like to hang out? You should really force yourself to go out and to live your life. When you're 70 years old, will you like to remember being at home waiting for a text or climbing a mountain?
I have been in your shoes and what helped me to see the light was that I started to realize that I was putting my own happiness in the hands of someone else. I bet you that your friend isn't relying on you for his happiness so don't do the same! Do your OWN thing and if this friendship is truly meant to last then it will. People get busy and not everyone is free to hang out at the same times- its no big deal. You just cant stop your life because your waiting on someone. Each day we have on this earth is a blessing, don't spend your time obsessing over your phone and a stupid text.