How do I work this out with my daughter properly?


I’m really kind of in a jam here. I’ll start from the beginning. My relationship with my daughter has always been great. We’ve always been close and even physically affectionate towards each other. Nothing weird, like I have always expected a hug from her as soon as she gets home from school, before she leaves for school, before she goes to bed or before I leave for work, etc. We’ve also always engaged in a sort of mean play, like she used to punch me in the belly when she was little and say things like “hah, gotcha” and we’d have pillow fights, tickle fights, all that sort of stuff. She’s always been the light of my life and my little darling. But, some kind of weird stuff has been starting to occur. She started developing breasts a year or so ago, as most girls do. She has actually really been moving along with this just fine, not that I’ve really been gawking over them or anything. But, when she gives me a hug before going to bed now; she removes her bra sometime beforehand and hugs me while I am sitting down at my computer. She actually kind of rubs her breasts against me, usually the side of my face, like she’s hugging my head. A while back, we were rough-housing, like wrestling but with tickling and stuff, with each other in the living room. I sent her to her room to go do something, I don’t remember what. But, I came in a few minutes later and she was on her bed, under her covers with her eyes closed making a funny face and rubbing in her pelvis area. I’m sure I know what that was, which isn’t a problem in itself, as masturbation is perfectly healthy, in my opinion. But, it was no more than a couple minutes after we were wrestling each other. My wife, her mother, is a real bitch to both of us most of the time. She loves us and everything. But, when she’s gone and it’s just me and my daughter talking, she always tells me she wishes her mom was nicer to her and all that stuff. She also changes clothes now as soon as she gets home and either dresses in skin tight stuff, no bra or panties and lays around in front of me sticking her butt up, or she’ll wear really lose shorts and sit sort of cross legged in front of me where I can notice some stuff showing. She’s also started doing this strange stuff. Me and my wife still have a lot of sex despite her bad attitude. My wife usually orgasms at least twice, and loudly. We always wait until we’re sure the kids are in asleep. But, lately, even if it’s really late, I’ll hear my daughter walking down the hallway back to her room as soon as me and my wife finishes, like for some reason she’s always around or about our doorway when we’re done. Some nights, when I go check on the kids, I’ll check on her first and she’ll be sleeping normally. She’ll be completely covered, breath loudly and sometimes snore just a little. But, by the time I’m done making my way about the other rooms checking, I’ll walk back past hers on the way back and she’s uncovered herself, pulled her shorts down almost to her privates, pulled her shirt way up, and is laying there on her back quiet, not making any noises like she does when she’s actually asleep. This morning, I got out of the shower and saw her outside my bathroom window in the yard. She wasn’t right up in the window, but I know she saw me naked. When I went out there to ask what she was doing, she had some strange excuse that was not really a good reason to be out there like that. She’s always been very open and honest with me, though I’ve not really pushed her for much information. She stays at home and lot and doesn’t really have much urge to go hang out with boys. She’s frequently changing into clothes that she can manipulate to ‘accidentally’ reveal body parts like her breasts. I’m kind of scared about this because she’s an extremely attractive young girl and if she tries to get nasty on me and I tell her no or refuse her, it might screw up her self esteem or she might try to compensate by doing something dangerous with another older man. She wouldn’t have any hard time getting attention because she’s such a beautiful girl. I need to know what I need to do to keep her from getting weird, but in a way that doesn’t hurt her feelings or make her feel like she needs to seek out a male’s attention. Please help?

Category: Tags: asked May 1, 2014

3 Answers

If she's always been honest and open with you, and this time she's not being open and honest, how about you ask her what's going on? The idea is obviously troublesome enough to get to sit with her and talk. You've been able to outline the situation here in written word, so it won't be a big stretch to confront her with the issue at hand.
I honestly see what you are saying, and it is a very dangerous situation for both you and your daughter. my suggestion, as i grew up without a dad but with a step father is to talk to her, shes probably just going through the motions and not realizing what she is doing. Talk to her about sex, self discovering, and mainly about the consequences and dangers of sex. I grew up with a very closed minded mother and i had to learn about sex on my own. Most importantly communicate some of this to your wife, your a man you dont really understand the 'hormone situations' woman go through and just ask or talk to her if she has noticed something. Make it as subtle as possible, you dont want to seem weird or out of the ordinary, just voice to your wife that your feeling a bit uncomfortable and thats okay! you have every right.
I would straight up ask her about it. Maybe if the problem is out there in the open you can get it resolved. Remind her that doing stuff like that is inappropriate especially since you are her father.